David and I were in the sandbox with our treasure trove of toys, and a little girl stood a few feet off and eyed us. Her mother was pushing the baby and talking on the phone. I wasn’t sure the girl spoke English, but I asked her if she wanted to play and she nodded emphatically. (David, as we have learned in the previous entry, was not so keen on this idea.) So, she stepped toward us.

Mama, noticed at this point, and called to her to come away. (At least, that’s what I assume she said since it was in Arabic.) I said it was fine with me if she wanted to play, we exchanged a couple pleasantries, and Mama sat down on the bench to tend to the baby and talk on the phone.

All this is completely standard park behavior—the offer from the parent with the toys, the checking in by the parent of the child coveting the toys, the chit chat.

Mama then sat on the bench for the next 15 minutes and chatted on the phone. I might have done the same. Except, Mamma had her back to us. The child was only three. I would have been monitoring. Is my child throwing sand? Is my child sharing? Has my child overstayed her welcome?

Inviting a stranger to play with you—that’s natural to my personality, my parenting style, and culture. Ignoring your child as they play with a stranger, I wonder which of those factors applied to her?