No, no, really, I love the zoo. Just the next time someone says, "Why don't we go to the zoo?" Remind me to say no, nay, never no nay never no more.


Why is the zoo such a trial for me? Well,

1. I have no sense of direction and can't read a map. The zoo is beautifully twisting paths in tall greenery. In other words, I never know where I am or how to get to the next place. This time I actually knew the flamingos would eventually lead us to the goats, but the children decided they wanted to see the giraffes first. After our side trip to the gorillas (to see the baby gorilla nursing was almost worth the trip), I got separated from the rest of our gang and had to call to be rescued.

2. It's constant stopping and starting. You get to the flamingos and David unbuckles from the stroller. I chase him down before he throws gravel in the flamingo's pond. I lift him up to see how their necks curl around their bodies and their black beaks tuck into their feathers. And after that five minutes, it's renegotiating about the stroller, rebuckle, restart, restop.

3. Someone is whining about wanting to be somewhere else. We only had three children with us, but someone always wanted to be moving on or climbing the worm house just one more time or driving the tractor or doubling back for a map. We had our best half hour in the African village where the kids ran in and out of the huts, banged on the drums and occasionally looked at the giraffes and zebras while I stood in the center trying to keep my eyes everywhere at once.

4. I don't drink enough water. I don't know why. I got water into the kids, but somehow, I couldn't find the time to drink my water. This seems coupled with the constant need to move on to the next thing.

5. It's a lot of exercise. I parked the car at 9:25. I got back in at 12:55. I was pretty much moving the whole time in between. I got 10 minutes on the ground eating my sandwich, but then David needed his poopy diaper changed. I do chase a toddler around every day, but this is obviously more. My legs are fine, but my arms are shaking right now, and I think it's from pushing the stroller or carrying David for three hours.

It was not an unmitigated disaster. My friend, Deirdre, and I got a lot of time to talk. She wasn't nearly as strung out as I was, so it's maybe not the zoo, but me and the zoo. The kids really liked petting the goats and climbing on the spiderweb. I liked chatting with the man from Kenya. David wanted to know why there wasn't a table in the African house. The cultural ambassador told me they ate on the floor or put a cloth over the big drum and ate around that. Next time, though, we'll go to the beach.