Remember that fifteen minutes of ick I alluded to yesterday? That was Rose refusing to get in the water for her swim class, my insisting, and the resulting tears and self-doubt.

On the one hand, she's got to learn to swim. I want her to be safe and independent in the water. As my sister pointed out, it's one of my Talmudic duties. And, I think it's really important that if I take a stand, I don't crumple under whining and temper tantrums. She was not, however, having a temper tantrum. She was scared. I also think it's really important that she tackle things that scare her.

On the other hand, what's the hurry? She can take the hard swim class another year when she's ready. Why pick this battle? I want her to feel confident and excited about being in the water, not pressured and freaked out. Am I doing the right thing?

Today started out mediocre. She said she didn't want to get in the water. I said she had to. She made a lot of faces and looked like she was going to have a fit. I said she had to take swim classes, but she could think about what she could control. I was willing to let her not do certain strokes, have me in the water, have me talk to the teacher. . .all of which I did yesterday. Pretty much anything to get over that first hurdle.

She decided to have me get in the pool. I felt a little ridiculous being the only mother in the entire pool. Will people think I'm a pushover? That she is coddled? Their teacher, a seventeen year old boy, said who wants to go first? Rose raised her hand. She raised her hand first for freestyle and backstroke. She went last on breaststroke, which she had been most nervous about. She was completely ignoring me, not even glancing over to check in, just giggling with her friends.

I said, "If David needs me I'm going to get out."
She said, "Ok."
David said, "I need Mommy!"

I got out, freezing in the too small towel. Then David and I cuddled on the lawn chairs and watched her attempt two dives and do great big jumps in the deep end. She loved swim class. She said so during. She said so after. She can't wait to do more jumps tomorrow.