Diana had her baby!

Yeah Diana! Yeah Joel! Yeah Liam! Nothing is more important than that.

bureaucracy

It got pretty bad in there. The secretary made me cry. But, all my paperwork is now in, and I'm going to paid at step seven, which, for a community college substitute writing instructor, is good money. Of course, if you do the math for how many hours I work. . .well, let's keep focused on this as a mitzvah and not about the money.

David is no longer freaking out

Halfway through week two was really our turning point. Daddy and David developed their own drop off rituals. This involved driving around the block twice, going down the hall on Daddy's shoulders, looking at the clock and discussing what Mommy will be doing at each hour, and three kisses. He still says he doesn't want to go to school which never happened before the big transition, but it's a great relief to have him ok with it. Of course, I'm not so excited about the transition back.

My love and integrity are in conflict with my time/money/focus on family

Of course, I fell in love with my students. You secretly knew I would didn't you? You knew I couldn't walk into a classroom and just do the job and walk out. I now care about them terribly. I care that Robert's father is dying in Indonesia and he can't get back. I care that Brad's country, Nepal, is imploding, and he can't do anything about it. I care that Derrick had trouble transitioning back from Iraq, and he doesn't believe he can think metaphorically. I care that Mike thinks he's smarter than I am and obfuscates his ideas with awkward phrasing. I care that they can't write paragraphs, keep a focus, or use semi-colons correctly.

I had a big stack of papers to grade this week-end. I could have given them all high grades, so they weren't tempted to revise. Never in my life. I graded them hard because I care so much that they learn to write well, and I told everyone of them that I would be happy to meet one on one to coach them through their writing needs.

So this is why I can't teach if I want to write poetry or buy holiday gifts or do anything but teach because I haven't learned how to manage the balance.

despite myself I'm almost done

I have three more days to plan and then it's in-class essays and presentations. Oh, and another stack of papers, grading the in class presentations, regrading the papers that they are revising, and grading participation.