David had a fever. Rose had a cough. David spit at Rose. Rose whacked David. My current parenting book is telling me to understand their feelings. I understand they are feeling sick and grumpy.

Aside from yelling at them, indulging in extra t.v., separating them, indulging in extra watching Daddy play computer games, yanking the tent poles out of their hands after they whack the table and come close to my eye, I've been working overtime on my creative solutions.

Monopoly, David rules

David roles a 7, counts 7, sees there is a community chest at 8, calls it a 8, and draws a card. David plays two pieces. David does not go to jail. David roles doubles even when he does not role doubles. Mommy pays rent and goes to jail.

Can you balance the balloon?

We got balloons after buying new shoes this week-end. I suggested we play what-can-we-tie-to-the-balloon-to-make-it-not-hit-the-ceiling-and-not-hit-the-floor. Teddy was too big. The jack was too small. The foam airplane was almost just right if we had put two balloons on it, but David was not interested in team work. Still, between hunting for objects, tying them on, and leaping off the sofa to grab the balloon string (I'm not making this up) we got almost an hour of no physical or verbal attacks.

Shave the balloon

Yes, we have shaving cream in the house. Why? For art projects of course. When I was about ten, I played shave the balloon at the purim carnival. You covered the balloon with shaving cream--already all the fun anyone could need, and then nervously shaved it with a razor until in inevitably popped. Well, they must make the balloons these days tougher or the razors a lot safer, but we could not get the balloons to pop. We did manage to strip down and play this game in the bathtub though. I think I even heard some laughing.

Go to your room

If you don't start laughing before my finger reaches the end of your spine, you are going to your room. If your nose doesn't turn purple with red spots, you are going to your room. If you don't fly through the air on a your magic broom, you are, you guessed it, going to your room.

I had been ordering people to their rooms so much, it was a great pleasure to turn the punishment into a joke and get them both laughing.