David: Mommy, are you Jewish?
Mommy: Yes.
David: Are you a bubbe?
Mommy: No, honey. A bubbe is a grandma. If you or Rose have children, then I would be a bubbe.

David (after visiting a friend's house that is decked for Christmas): Why are there so few people who are Jewish?
Mommy immediately thinks inquisition, pogroms, holocaust, assimilation, but she tries a different tact: There are lots of religions in the world. Judaism is one religion. There aren't a lot of Jewish people here, but there are a lot in Israel.
Rose: Why are there so many Christians?
Mommy: Actually, there are more Hindus and Moslems than Christians. [Mommy is totally making this up. She's pretty sure some religion other than Christianity tops the rankings, but she's driving the car right now and voice activated Wikipedia is not coming her way.]
Rose: But why are there so many Christians here?
Mommy pulling into the driveway and not prepared to do a history of religion in America lecture though she does have a strong background in this, and it would fit in nicely with the Pilgrims: I'll tell you later.

David to Sally the babysitter/tenant/dear friend: Can we watch the Charlie Brown Christmas show now?
Sally (who is not Jewish): The holidays go Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, my birthday, Christmas. You can't watch Thanksgiving until after Halloween has passed, etc.
David to Mommy: Why does the store have all the Christmas decorations up? They missed Hanukkah!