I have this great video from the last day of swim lessons last summer. The pool is sparkling, David is grinning, and he is swimming.

Some of you may recall that swim lessons went poorly in the fall. So poorly that I quit. Who needs that power struggle? The whining, crying, negotiating, threatening, bribing, and yet more crying.

I guess I do because I am committed to swim lessons for the entire summer. I made the rule that he had to be in his swim suit with his feet in the water. The first day the teacher spent the entire class just with him, and after twenty minutes David got in and had fun. Today, there were more kids in the class and the teacher gave up on David after a few minutes. I spent the entire half hour trying to solve the problem until we were both in tears.

I know he is scared. Sometimes you have to do things that scare you. That is a life skill. I went through the same thing with Rose, and it was agonizing to hold the line. Now, she is a wonderful swimmer and maybe the next time she faces something she's scared to do, she has this resource to draw on.

I know he just wants to know how to swim and does not want or trust a learning curve. This is a long standing issue with him. We've talked to him about how he taught himself to walk by falling a lot and the monkey bars, by falling a lot. It's another life skill to realize learning is a process.

I know he actually really loves the types of things they do in swim lessons. He is not scared to put his head under or blow bubbles. He is not scared to jump in at the deep end. He loves to use the kickboard all by himself. He wants to know how to swim.

I know this has simply become a power struggle. I try very hard not get in to power struggles. One of my favorite aikido teachers often talked about taking the oblique angle. Don't tackle an opponent head on, come in from the side. So, I make games. I negotiate. I say yes. But sometimes I say no and do not back down. I'm going to win this one. I just wish I could get him swimming without having to overpower him.

John and I are trying a carrot and stick approach. The stick is he now has to get into the pool all the way. No more sitting on the side. The carrot is we are making this a chart issue. He gets a sticker for every day he takes his full swim lesson, presents for the end of the row. Unlike the potty talk chart, he can't undo his new skills once he's finished the chart.

I'm sure tomorrow will go well.