On the way home from school one day, David told me that his teacher was objecting to his tone. He didn't say it like that. He said he thought he was responding to her requests reasonably by saying "yeah" and she was saying the word back to him in a way that did not sound nice. That was not how he thought he was saying it.

This was not new news to us. David's teacher contacted us last week about his rude tone. She wanted to know more about his interests, so she could connect with him, he would be happier, and his improved attitude would improve his tone and behavior. I think that's a pretty generous way to go about addressing the problem. But, it suddenly occurred to me on the way home that maybe he really didn't hear how he sounded to others.

So, over dinner, we had an all family tone game. We practiced saying words in a polite tone or rude tone and having the rest of the family guess which one we were using. We realized that when you were feeling grumpy, one word answers like "yeah" or "ok" lended themselves to rude tones. You had a better chance of being polite with a longer answer. David was not offended at all by this game. We all had a great time role playing. Now, I need to check in with his teacher and see if it made any difference.