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2004-03-10 10:15 PM Men R Better (not rly...but ok...still a fny entry) Mood: Happy Read/Post Comments (2) |
Alright now, I would like to thank my good friend justin for showing me this. I mean, this is one of the best things i have read in awhile. Also, its just funny. Before i start though, just to let everyone know... I am not sexist...and if i ever find one for women....i will post it on here...so here it goes:
100 REASONS WHY MEN ARE BETTER (THOUGH WE KNOW IT AIN'T TRUE 1.there is no #1 reason, and that's okay 2.Movie nudity is virtually always female 3.Child birth 4.A five day vacation requires only one suitcase 5.Monday Night Football 6.Belching is cool 7.Your bathroom lines are always 80% shorter 8.You can open all your own jars 9.Old friends don't give a crap if you've lost or gained weight 10.Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind 11.Screw up the laundry once, never allowed to do it again 12.Your ass is never a factor in a job interview 13.All your orgasms are real 14.Those chairs by the waiting room at lingerie shops are for you 15.Guys in hockey masks don't attack you 16.You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go 17.You can still get away with MAKING a Valentine's day card 18.You can go to the bathroom without a support group 19.Your last name stays put 20.You can understand Homer Simpson 21.You never get a stupid Love Quiz in GQ 22.You can kill your own food 23.The garage is all yours 24.You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness 25.Big Breasted Stripper days on Jerry Springer 26.We're treated like royalty when we're sick 27.You never have to clean the toilet 28.You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes 29.Sex means never worrying about your reputation 30.Wedding plans take care of themselves 31.If someone forgets to invite you to something he or she is still your friend 32.Your underwear is $10 for a three pack 33.The National College Cheerleading Championship. 34.None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry 35.You don't have to shave below the neck 36.Scratching your ass is just fine 37.If you're 34 and single nobody notices 38.You can write your name in snow 39.Beer is a food group 40.Everything on your face stays its original colour 41.Chocolate is just another snack 42.You can be president 43.Going to the gym to look at the aerobic girls is called 'working out' 44.Flowers fix everything 45.You never have to worry about other people's feelings 46.You get to think about sex 90% of the day 47.You can wear a white shirt to a water park 48.Three pairs of shoes are enough 49.You can eat a banana in a hardware store 50.A 'mood swing' is a place, with a swing, where you get sex. 51.Foreplay is optional 52.Falling asleep right after sex 53.Nobody stops telling a dirty joke when you walk into the room 54.You can whip your shirt off on a hot day 55.Middle aged, big gut? No problem, it's expected. 56.Underwear lasts longer than most marriages 57.Car mechanics tell the truth 58.The belly button is a fantastic place to store corn chip crumbs 59.You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without thinking: He must be mad at me 60.The world is your urinal 61.Wake up, shower, eat, brush your teeth, leave... max 15 minutes. 62.You get to jump up and slap stuff 63.Hotwax never comes near your pubic area 64.One mood, all the time 65.Your virginity is never 'taken' away. You'd gladly give it to anyone that asks. 66.Father-in-laws are sweet older men. Mother-in-laws are nasty old bitches. 67.You know at least twenty ways to open a beer bottle 68.You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing 69.Same work...more pay 70.Gray hair and wrinkles add character 71.You dont have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment 72.It's OK to marry a girl much younger than you if you have money 73.It's OK to cop a free feel when you cuddle. 74.With 400 million sperms per shot you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory 75.You never have to wear high heels. 76.Sometimes women will fight over you, and you get to watch 77.The remote is yours and yours alone 78.People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them 79.People never complain about men drivers 80.Drinking till you pass out is occasionally OK 81.Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers 82.You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mom 83.Breast augmentation on your wife is a gift to both of you 84.You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom 85.If you don't call your buddy when you say you will,he won't tell your friends you've changed 86.Someday you'll be a dirty old man, and you're looking forward to it. 87.You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*** it!" 88.If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit you might become lifelong buddies 89.Dad always let you stay out late while your sister had to be in before midnight 90.The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected 91.You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood 92.You're expected to stink if you work out 93.If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room 94.New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet 95.If someone bothers you, you just don't talk to them and problem solved. 96.Telephone company commercials don't make you cry 97.Not liking a person does not eliminate having great sex with them 98.Girls play barbie. You had GI Joe 99.Baywatch 100.There is always a game on somewhere Alright...thats all for that...so post comments on it...possibly with ur fav number or what not...eat...drink...be merry and all that shit...now im gonna go try to find one for women... Read/Post Comments (2) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top |
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