Ahhh....Sundays

You ain't got no job, you ain't got no place to be...I' gonna git you high!

(Well I guess technically that would be "Fridays" - sorry for that misappropriation)

Your Los Angeles Dodgers, team of the people, broke the game wide open in the 5th on a record-breaking 17th career grand-slam by Robbie Ventura, allowing yours truly to flip channels a bit more liberally - to the very liberal protests occurring up and down midtown Manhattan as we type. Let's have a look:

CSPAN - probably the most objective coverage, simply because they don't have some talking head giving the play-by-play. Instead, they're broadcasting raw feeds from cameras on the periphery as well as inside the crowd, besieging the viewer with a colorful spectrum of witty slogans and political one-liners. All goes to show: Sometimes the best journalism is keeping your mouth shut & filming.

Wait, we interrupt this hard-hitting media analysis to inform that Olmedo Saenz has just slammed the living shit out of a ball over the wall in deep left-center. Ouch! C'mon guys, it's the Mets, not the Yankees. If it were the Yankees I'd say pour on as much humiliation as possible. But can we call of the attack dogs? It's the 9th, for Christ's sake. Mery, good sir, merrrcy!

BACK TO CSPAN - There are so many signs that at least get a chuckle. But my favorite thus far has to be the small understated sign saying 'nü-klE-&r' and nothing else. That's classic. Although, to be fair a quick check on Merriam Webster includes 'nyu-ky-l&r' too. You think somebody made some calls all across the lexicon industry on the eve of Bush's last State of the Union? Hm....

Plus, every group that marches past the CSPAN cameras breaks out with a spontaneous "Fox News Sucks!" chant, leading me to wonder why. CSPAN, whose producers apparently have The Shining, answer my question and pan up to the giant "Fox News" advertisement hanging above their location. Which reminds me....

FOX NEWS - Very predictably, Fox News apparently doesn't find the tens of thoursands of marchers protesting outside as newsworthy as the soundchecks going on inside Madison Square Garden. Or new leads on the Chandra Levy case. I keep waiting, I know I shouldn't...but I keep waiting for them to jump on the obvious story o' the day that CNN and MSNBC are both covering. Not one mention. Instead, one of the anchors leads with "George Bush laid low during the Democratic National Convention, but will John Kerry do the same??"

After careful deliberation, it appears that yes, "Fox News Sucks, Fox News Sucks."

MSNBC - Bringing coverage from a cordoned-off area outside next to the protest route. No complaints there. Wait, there's a fire - there's a fire, people! Smoke! We clearly see smoke billowing from down the block, around the corner! But we don't know what's happening! Oh my god! So I click to...

CSPAN - Who's right on top of the fire. It's a papier mache float that someone lit in the middle of the street, so the cops push everyone safely back out of the way until firefighters arrive and extinguish. That's done, so back to...

MSNBC - "Fire! We don't know what's happening over there, folks, but as soon as we hear word we'll bring it back to you - it appears the smoke is thinning, but only moments ago it was thick and billowy. Again, not sure what happened, but we have people working on it."

And with that, I learn that apparently nobody has tipped off the producers at MSNBC that there's this other channel called "CSPAN" and maybe they should look into it.

MAJOR NETWORKS, ABC NBC CBS: ...[stifled laugh] ppbbthht, cha ha ha! Sorry 'couldn't resist. For the sake of comprehensiveness let's humor them and see what's on.

Let's see...ABC: an interview with Method Man on "Soul Plane." Very enlightening.

NBC: Some poor shmuck from Brazil got tackled by a kilt-wearing religious nut during the Olympics Men's Marathon. Well, that's pretty newsworthy, it is - I'll give them that. OK, NBC gets a pass.

CBS: Golf. This is 10-times worse than the Soul Plane interview happening on ABC. Don't even get me started on all the golf coverage out there. That's another long-winded post for another day.

I look at all the action going down in NYC now and in the coming week and I'm envious I'm not right there in the middle of it. Had I made a different choice a few months back, I would be - not that I feel I made the wrong choice. At the same time, I wonder how honestly comfortable I'd be among those throngs of people. It's encouraging to see such a diverse array of viewpoints all united under the same objective, but at the same time, would I really want to be following right behind a giant Palestinian flag? Well, sure - I have no problem with that. Wait, they're yelling "In-ti-fa-da! In-ti-fa-da!" Well...I'm not sure I can get on board with that. What about all those "Go Vegetarian" people in cow and carrot costumes out there? What if I was planning on getting a good ribeye after the event? What about all those Socialist Workers?

All the Nader/Camejo signs out there - how do I not tackle them? OK ok, I should be tolerant and not hypocritical. I just wish they realized that a vote for Nader, especially in a swing state, will ultimately make the problems Nader brings up a lot, lot worse. Nader the consumer advocate is a great guy. Nader the politician is irresponsible, convincing people that there's no difference between the two parties. Seriously, what's that guy smoking?

Nader can speak his mind more bluntly than any other politican - pun enthusiastically intended - because he knows his election is unachievable, and therefore he has nothing to lose. If he was a serious contender, trust me - he'd have a calculated strategy just like the other two guys. The problem isn't the timidity of the ther two candidates, it's the electoral process: Gaining the vote of around at least 140 million different Americans while speaking your bold honest opinion off the cuff is simply not possible. Instead, we're left with a unique political language to interpret and read between the teleprompter lines...

In the end, yes, of course I'd be marching out there. Sure I don't agree with all the fringes in that crowd, but we all agree on one fundamental issue - and I think the American public is capable of comprehending that. It's no surprise that the loudest chant I heard on CSPAN was: This is what a democracy looks like!

No doubt.