I feel the need to share something very personal and intimate with all of you.

[deep breath] Here goes.

Last night – last night was my first time. It was such a tender experience, from those first breathless moments of anticipation all the way through the ecstatic climax.

That’s right, there will be no more snickering at Dickie Cronkite. I am no longer a virgin – a Wrigley Field virgin. I finally got inside that beautiful stadium. (Ok, Ok I’ll stop – we’re getting a bit graphic now.)

Anyhow, so yes, I made it to the game last night and it’s true: There’s something inexplicably special and unique about watching the Cubs play at home. This is no ordinary ballpark – it’s on the corner of Addison and Clark, smack in the middle of a popular bar/commercial/residential district. Imagine no massive parking lots circling the stadium perimeter, no congestion of cars and traffic on the way to the game, no $10 parking – none of that. Just a giant stadium that looks like it randomly landed on a popular street corner. Just get off the L at Addison and boom – you’re there. OK, maybe everybody else is saying “So what – who cares?” but then you’ve never grown up fighting downtown traffic on the 110 to Dodger Stadium.

You enter Wrigley and you can just feel the history. As Mikey would say: This place is definitely “old school.” Gaze out on the field and it’s like a time warp – like watching a game back in 1947. It feels a lot smaller than your modern ballpark, or, to continue on my opening metaphor, "it's a far more intimate experience.” The seats along the first and third base lines are a lot closer. The dugouts are right up against the seats too, which explains Wrigley’s propensity for brawls between players and fans (much like this incident in Oakland the other night.) No bullpens, just pitchers warming up along the baselines as the game progresses. Very, very flippin’ cool.

Of course, the flip side of a classic ballpark is a structure on the verge of collapse. You might remember those nets I ranted about a few weeks ago – the ones to keep chunks of falling concrete from crushing fans? Yeah…I was right under those. Of course, the chance of dying a horrific, bloody messy death is just another risk that Cubs fans are willing to take.

Those Cubs fans are pretty rabid. I think I was seriously the only one there without a Cubs shirt or Cubs hat – it’s almost like their school uniform (no “Reverse the Curse” T-shirt and they send you home). It’s a surprisingly young crowd, too. I’d say the vast majority were in their twenties or thirties. Maybe it has something to do with the neighborhood, I dunno.

And there’s that tireless devotion to the team – to the lovable losers the Cubs historically are. Maybe there’s a hint of inferiority complex at work here – the more years that go by without a pennant, the more rabid, devoted and die-hard the fans grow. Around Wrigley the air is positively charged – you can smell it – and of what I’ve heard it’s always been like this. …But isn’t there a downside to this unquestioning popular embrace of the team, year after year? I mean, the team can absolutely suck, and attendance and sales still won’t decline. The owner doesn’t need to worry about fielding a quality team to keep business thumping. …Maybe there’s a reason they haven’t won a pennant in so long, and perhaps the Cubbies’ consistent fan love is actually shooting themselves in the foot? I know it sounds strange, but it could be.

On to the game itself: Wow, what a first time it was! First of all, we were just off home plate on the ground level. I mean, if the foul net wasn’t there I could throw a baseball at Samy Sosa’s bat and watch the cork explode out of it. Great seats! The Cubs had a dismal third inning against the Pirates, who were knocking hits of Clement like it was their birthday, and the home team was lucky to escape only two runs down. Their offense continued to suffer, and they were shut out until the eighth.

With a runner on first, Corey Patterson knocked a pop fly to left-center. Hell, even Corey thought he flied-out by the way he slammed his bat down. …But what’s this? The wind actually grabbed the ball and just barely pushed it over the net on the brick wall – a homerun, and we’re tied at 2. The game went into extra innings, with both teams missing key opportunities to score. Samy had an incredible diving catch in right field. He doesn’t make this catch, then the Pirates have runners on the corners with only 1 out and the Cubs probably lose. But he does, and the Cubs go on to win on another Corey Patterson shot over the center field wall in the bottom of the 12th.

Unbelievable.

But that’s not even the best part.

You exit the stadium, and – try and picture it – at least thirty pubs in every direction, starting right outside the ballpark. Some even have batting cages. I mean, can you believe it? How do I do this justice on the page?

I just kept thinking the same thing, over and over: Why can’t the Dodgers play here?

I mean, this town and this stadium rocks…but do these people realize they’re rooting for the Cubs and NOT the Dodgers?? It doesn’t add up. It falls just short. How can you not root for the Dodgers as your primary team? I don’t get it.

I’ll throw you one better: The Cubs are currently in a dogfight for the wildcard. The Dodgers are fighting to stay in first with a shaky bullpen. There’s a chance, just a chance that these two teams might meet here at Wrigley in October. As in, Playoffs.

Holy Shit. Excuse me for a second, I have to go use the bathroom.

Can you imagine? I mean, of course I’m going. I just pray all those Cubs fans don’t trample me when they see my Dodger cap and Gagne “Game Over” T-shirt. I’m getting giddy just thinking about it!

In the mean time, I’ll just have to sit down and try to hold back my schoolgirl laughter at the memory of my very first time with Wrigley – sort of like Diane Lane in Unfaithful, when she’s sitting on the subway trying not to laugh as she remembers the first time she cheated on Richard Gere with that French dude.