The original order of business on today's docket was to go postal on my university's health department. Look, I don't have measles, motherf-ers! Stop harrassing me! Gimme my classes! Arrrgggh!

But then I read this commentary by SJRosen.

I think she has a point...to a point:

Allow myself to introduce...myself.

First of all, the cops are reviewing the tapes. Hopefully they charge some of the drunkard fans. And David Stern was careful to condemn the fans, even if he doesn't have the same jurisdiction over them.

Secondly, take away all the loaded "rich white fans vs. sweaty black athletes on stage" language, and you're left with Ron Artest. Artest is nuts. Nuts. Given his track record, nobody was surprised when Artest bum-rushed the seats. And as Bill Simmons pointed out the other day, he didn't even attack the correct taunting rich white fan (to borrow from Rozen) who threw the beer.

Artest is the same guy who just last week was trying to get time off to promote his rap record. If that's not a cry for help - a warning of things to come - I don't know what is.

Third, there is a culture where people think they can lord over athletes and dish out whatever obscenities they want, that blends across sport. 'Just look at the Rangers' chair-throwing incident last season.

But this hatred of athletes is equal-opportunity in every sense of the word. Lord knows I've wished some things on Roger Clemens that I'm not proud of. And only in cases of bigoted fans does this hatred cross into racial waters.

Plus, in my experience of sports both inside and out of the arena, fans of all creed, color and socio-economic backgrounds unite in their hatred of the opposing team, coming to mess with us from another town.

It's really a beautiful thing.

Turning this into a white-fan/black-player dichotomy...there may be some truth there, but that's still quite an oversimplification when you consider the hold that sports has on everyone in this country. Everyone in this country except Cronkette.

Fourth, let's remember where this happened: Detroit. That arena is notorious for being one of the rowdiest places to endure a game in, and, going along with the rowdiness, it's not nearly as caste-divided as, say, a Staples Center, where the snobby rich elitists really are the ones lording over the choice seats down below. The real fans really do have more of a chance to get access to the opposing players in Detroit. And then you throw Ron Artest into the mix? Fuggedaboutit.


But all that said...


This incident does bring the shortcomings of today's NBA culture to a head. 'Shortcomings that have to do with socio-economics, which, duh, has everything to do with race. (See Hoop Dreams. I'm not kidding.)

Its most popular players are incrementally emerging almost directly from the inner city courts - thrown upon the biggest stage to make a profit without concerns of preparation, development, or maturity. Kids. From street ball to instant multi-millionaires. 'More and more kids coming to the NBA straight outta high school, let alone the growing number of kids going into the league before graduating college. Sad.

[um, this would be the part where I throw stats at you. There's a problem, though: I'm lazy.]

Meanwhile, there are other forces at work here. There's the style and attitude Rosen mentions. But to younger generation of fans coming from privileged backgrounds, I don't think this NBA player attitude represents an "affront." Rather, it's celebrated, in a strange way. It's like this connection kids and yuppies think they get to this gritty world outside of the suburbs. (Wannabes) Until this world gets a little too up-close-and-personal, like it did the other night, for that first poor drunk schmuck Artest pummeled. The NBA, for the most part, turns a blind eye - Alley-I (my G-town boy), Marbury, Spree, even KG and now, strangely, Kobe. Why would the NBA admonish the behavior of their edgiest stars when you look at the revenue these guys bring in?

[um...this part would have had stats too. Again: lazy.]

So it was only a matter of time...

When Stern approaches the podium and chastises Artest there's definitely a hypocrisy at work. The NBA grows fat off these edgy kids, and fills its coffers off their image.

But does that mean Stern's punishment isn't justified? If he doesn't throw down at least one season suspension, he's only inviting more mayhem. Maybe the NBA has exacerbated this problem in their ongoing quest for the bottom line, but does that mean they shouldn't fix this?

If any of us, provoked or not, assaults a bystander at our place of work, we're fired. We're fired due to our unprofessional behavior and in the name of upholding our company's reputation.

If the NBA is gonna keep pushing the age and maturity envelope on its players, that's a sad trend. But then it does need to go gestapo with its code of behavior, to keep some semblance of integrity to the league - as it simultaneously chips away at that same integrity.

Anyways...Ron Artest, NBA, blah blah. Everyone's a pundit. Whaddyagonnado.