In space, no one can hear you scream...
Read/Post Comments (8)
In honor of the recent probe landing on Titan, I bring this week's edition of "Which is better: a Winter in Chicago or the Cold Dark Reaches of Outer Space." Let's get right down to it:
1. In neither place can you pass out out on your lawn in shorts and a T-shirt and expect to survive the night. Advantage: Draw.
2. In Chicago, everyone claims that the winter will end, quote, "soon." "...eventually." In space, they don't give you any such false hopes. Advantage: Space.
3. In Space, you've got waves of radiation that penetrate your fragile human frame, breaking down your cellular composition and killing you. In Chicago, you have small ankle-slapping waves of water. But these waves freeze in place, torturing and playing with your feeble emotions - a fate worse than death. Advantage: Space.
4. In Chicago, one is incapable of finding a recently-arrived Cuban immigrant to interview for class. In space, any Cuban immigrants would die instantly, and thus my professor wouldn't hold me to such an unreasonably high expectation. Advantage: Space.
5. In Space, you may not have oxygen, warmth or even a nearby planetary mass with enough gravity to provide you stability and orientiation, but at least you don't have snowy, slushy conditions full sheets of ice which result in embarrasing slips and falls out in public. Advantage: Space.
6. In space, they don't have Halo 2. Advantage: Chicago.
7. In neither Chicago nor space do you have a girlfriend who lives in the same city, let alone the same region, to provide the necessary warmth. Advantage: Draw.
8. Neither space nor Chicago can boast the most glorious franchise of all time: Your Los Angeles Lakers. But the Lakers do visit Chicago every once in a while, whereas private space travel and tourism is still getting off the ground. Advantage: Chicago.
(Waitaminute. Upon further review the Bulls beat the Lakers last time they were in town. We're gonna reverse that ruling. Advantage: Space.)
9. In Chicago you have good friends who enjoy good beers at good bars to help cope with the frigid atrocities outside. In space, you pretty much just have distant nebulae and gasses. Not as much fun to talk with. Advantage: Chicago.
10. And finally: In the winter in Chicago, you get the opportunity to annoy everyone around you by bitching incessantly about the winter in Chicago. In space, you pretty much die instantly.
*Overall advantage*: Chicago.
1. In neither place can you pass out out on your lawn in shorts and a T-shirt and expect to survive the night. Advantage: Draw.
2. In Chicago, everyone claims that the winter will end, quote, "soon." "...eventually." In space, they don't give you any such false hopes. Advantage: Space.
3. In Space, you've got waves of radiation that penetrate your fragile human frame, breaking down your cellular composition and killing you. In Chicago, you have small ankle-slapping waves of water. But these waves freeze in place, torturing and playing with your feeble emotions - a fate worse than death. Advantage: Space.
4. In Chicago, one is incapable of finding a recently-arrived Cuban immigrant to interview for class. In space, any Cuban immigrants would die instantly, and thus my professor wouldn't hold me to such an unreasonably high expectation. Advantage: Space.
5. In Space, you may not have oxygen, warmth or even a nearby planetary mass with enough gravity to provide you stability and orientiation, but at least you don't have snowy, slushy conditions full sheets of ice which result in embarrasing slips and falls out in public. Advantage: Space.
6. In space, they don't have Halo 2. Advantage: Chicago.
7. In neither Chicago nor space do you have a girlfriend who lives in the same city, let alone the same region, to provide the necessary warmth. Advantage: Draw.
8. Neither space nor Chicago can boast the most glorious franchise of all time: Your Los Angeles Lakers. But the Lakers do visit Chicago every once in a while, whereas private space travel and tourism is still getting off the ground. Advantage: Chicago.
(Waitaminute. Upon further review the Bulls beat the Lakers last time they were in town. We're gonna reverse that ruling. Advantage: Space.)
9. In Chicago you have good friends who enjoy good beers at good bars to help cope with the frigid atrocities outside. In space, you pretty much just have distant nebulae and gasses. Not as much fun to talk with. Advantage: Chicago.
10. And finally: In the winter in Chicago, you get the opportunity to annoy everyone around you by bitching incessantly about the winter in Chicago. In space, you pretty much die instantly.
*Overall advantage*: Chicago.
Read/Post Comments (8)
Previous Entry :: Next Entry
Back to Top
