OK. Let's get the bad stuff outta the way:

First off, dear Coalition of the [cough] Willing:

PLEASE STOP FUCKING SHOOTING AT FUCKING JOURNALISTS.

(fuckers.)

And as I type, Newshour with Jim Lehr is doing a great segment addressing Bush and his evasive media strategies - how he continues to do these election-style warm & fuzzy town halls entirely manufactured for local media and designed to lull the national White House press corps to sleep, and how this ongoing technique is starting to fall flat in the context of his social security campaign.

(We need more of this.)

Secondly, fighting traffic through the Loop today, I caught this gem of a commentary by Heather King on NPR. As the summary says, "enduring the weeks and weeks of rainy [LA] weather reminds our commentator of others who have dealt with patience-trying circumstances."

...

Alright. [ahem]

Look, it's been raining for months in God's Country. It's been continuously raining since I was home for the holidays. It's been raining since before TAFKAC broke up with me. That's how long it's been raining.

It's been raining a lot.

Accordingly, it gets really wet. Houses fall down. I grew up on a steep hill that's been crumbling since I was 10.

It's ugly. We get that.

However, that said...

Speaking as someone who's still enduring his first real Winter for the first time in 5 or 6 years, with no end in sight...

Someone who's probably gonna see more horrific white fluffy stuff this evening...

Someone who has *literally* forgotten what anything above fifty degrees ever felt like...

Someone who looks forward to the day he can take off his jacket and gloves and flipping burn them in glorious celebration. I'm not kidding.

Ms. King, don't think I'm an asshole for saying this...

(Fine, "Not more of an asshole than I already am." Better?)

But Ms. King, as a proud and loyal SoCal Expat, I have to say, with all due respect,

Please kindly shut the *fuck* up.

Do you realize how stupid you make us look to the rest of the country, bitching about the weather? In the Land of Milk and Honey? I mean seriously, are you kidding me?? GAAR! We Angelinos are a hardy bunch, and we have to deal with hardy issues. But one thing we cannot claim is having to endure crap weather. These little commentaries are why the rest of the nation laughs at us. So stop.

(thank you.)

Alright, now on to the good stuff!

First, I just learned I was assigned my top publication choice for the Spring quarter in my ol' stomping grounds of DC. (City, not Blogger.) Giddyup! I shall serve as beltway correspondent for the Santa Barbara News-Press, and I couldn't be more stoked. I'll be planting a virtual foot back in the Best Coast, so I got that going for me, which is nice. 'Can't wait to compete with the Jackson media blitz.

Second, someone at the Daily Herald musta finally read that post where I threatened to go postal if they didn't put me in print, cause I finally got a clip there. Third largest paper in the breathtaking majestic state of Illinois, behind the Trib and the Sun-Times. Giddyup!

(All media magnate execs at Gannette, Knight-Ridder, etc. who are reading this, feel free to leave job offers in my comments section.)

To be fair, it's really sort of a wash. This was a piece I co-wrote with my associate Reed Rothchild a couple of weeks ago, specifically commissioned by the Herald for a special real estate section titled "Your First Home," which came out today. So if it didn't make it to print, there would have really been something wrong and I'd have a great excuse to hit the bottle. Nonetheless, it's nice to have something else to show for this quarter. Anyways, since it's a special section I can't find a link on their site. But I'll post the text in a separate post, for the bevy of first-time subrban Chicagoland home buyers looking for landscaping tips that read this prestigious blog. Enjoy.