Well, it's official: Tomorrow they're flying me and a photographer to the Colombia-Venezuela border to watch the interior minister ceremoniously burn a good ol'fashioned down-home cocaeeena plantation.

God's Country meets Drug Country. [*SNORT*] Excuse me.

(Hole: I make no promises, but I'll see if I can't pull a "hey look, what's that over there" and pick you up a special South American souvenir.)

I'm excited - it'll be nice to get out of the garbage pit for a day and see some of the allegedly scenic country. And don't worry, I know what you're thinking - I'll be sure to say "hi" and "thank you" to all the neighboring druglords on behalf of everyone.

In thies contry, you gotta make de money first. Den when you get de money, you get de power. Then when you get de power, you get the weemen.

That reminds me, last summer Smash and I had an ongoing debate about exactly what age it's appropriate to stop smoking pot, if ever. Smash argues that if you're still smoking after 25, there's something developmentally wrong with you. I'm the furthest thing from a pothead, but I seriously disagree on principle. Smash - maybe I'll ask the interior minister and any druglords that attend. If they're not an authority, I don't know who is...


Oh, and I don't think we'll exactly be flying United, so everyone keep their fingers crossed... Think that prop plane from Major League, if even that.

[gulp] Wish me luck - I don't wanna pull a Richie Valenz.