9:20AM: Throwing pants on. Bureau chief calls, forcing me to put Dawson's Creek, i.e. the WB's version of an hour-long tampon commercial, on mute. The two main opposition parties to Chavez have decided to boycott Sunday's congressional elections.

Whoops!

The rough equivalent would be the Democrats refusing to participate in midterm elections. God I'm gonna miss this cartoon country. Chavez already has an event planned at the presidential palace for 10am, and it's a good bet he'll have a few choice words about this.


9:45AM: In a cab en route to the Palacio Miraflores. Another call. Event postponed till 2PM.


1:55PM: Arriving at the presidential palace.


2:15PM: Waiting in the palace, outside the Salon Ayacucho for entry into said event. A security guard asks me where I'm from, who I work for. She asks if I write the standard opposition line, or if I write "the truth." I say "probably neither," based on where she's coming from. We get into an interesting int'l affairs discussion, the highlight definitely being her banging her head against the wall, begging me to explain how we actually re-elected George Bush.

Enjoying the role of devil's advocate, or, as my ex-girlfriends know me, "asshole," I ask her what she thinks about the legitimacy of Sunday's election, now that the two main opposition parties aren't participating. She answers with the equivalent of "who the fuck are they anways?"

Which prompts me to consider a world of Democrats without Republicans...what would happen? Could one side ever claim legitimacy without the constant litmus test of the other? Welcome to democracy, friends.


3:15PM: Still talking to the security guard. A tech director for the government's state TV station has joined in. He runs down the whole gamut of the U.S. in Latin America - you know, Pinochet, Guatemala, Nicaragua, the CIA - all that shit, as if I'll be shocked to hear. I guardedly agree with his take on things, until I finally have to say "no, I don't agree that the U.S. gov't was behind the 9-11 attacks, even if they capitalized on it," and he gets a little aggressive.


5:15PM: Still waiting for the 2PM event to start.


5:30PM: Chavez & Co. finally entering the Salon. Me shocking myself awake with the nearest wall outlet.

It's really hard to sum up a Chavez speech - he's such a charismatic, straight-talking...then waitaminute-we're-going-off-the-deep-end-here sort of guy.

It's always surreal to listen to a head-of-state, in person, trash your home government with reckless abandon. You feel a weird mix of amusement and guilt, especially as someone not thrilled with our current government either. It's all I can do to fight the tourrette's-like urge to stand up in the middle of a Chavez anti-imperialism rant and yell, "I'M SORRY ALREADY - GEEEEZ!" Then time how long it takes for security to drag you out.

Chavez addresses the opposition boycott, comparing them to this joke about a guy "three-times as ugly as me," who's so ugly he always makes excuses why he can't show up to the party. "Well, the party's this Sunday." (referring to the elections)

For the opposition parties, it's a political move - dubbing the elections a fraud to challenge Chavez's legitimacy. Even so, Chavez comes across eerily dismissive about the whole thing, in my opinion - just like my security guard friend outside.


7:15PM: Exiting the Palacio Miraflores, friggin exhausted, and one of those weird cosmic coincidences occurs when a truckload of cheering Chavistas decked out in red uniform passes by at the exact same time, the truck blaring a song with the hook "Djankee go jom! Go-jom Grrr-EEEE-ngo!" I'm just tired enough to take it personally, absurd as that is. I flip them off.

9:05PM: Checking email. In my inbox is a really interesting interview by Robert Scheer of this Sri Lankan veteran journalist who came to Venezuela to interview Chavez because she didn't believe the coverage from the wire services. She trashes the Venezuela wire bureaus maybe 7-8 times over the course of 90 minutes, specifically AP.

Cue second surreal experience of the day regarding criticism, except this time without the amusement nor the guilt.

Pretty hypocritcal of her to criticize the wires, accusing them of being influenced by local opposition media. Why? Following her interview of Chavez, she was so inspired by what he was trying to do, she went on his payroll as a consultant. Now, she's a mouthpiece for his government. Which hey - that's great, to find renewed purpose and calling. But to criticize independent international media when you've jumped sides to embrace the government's official line? I don't think I have to explain the problem here.

By now I'm pretty familiar with the AP office down here, and her comments weren't fair. I know these people - how they approach their coverage of Venezuela, and basically it comes down to this: Trust no one. Question everything, from everyone. Everyone - popular incumbent government included - has a hand to play. Chavez may genuinely despise Bush, but he's also catering to his political base, so it's a no-brainer. (See: Busfull of Chavistas as I left tonight.)

Who the hell is this lady to criticize the wires for not being objective, when she's completely stopped questioning one side of the coin?? Ugh. I seriously hate people.

Anyways, that's enough rambling for one evening. Clearly, the whiskey's taken effect. Buenas noches, bitches.