Editor's Note: We regret to inform that on Jan. 3, 2006, Dickie Cronkite was the victim of a terrorist attack. The cowardly, anonymous culprit mocked Dickie by posing as a former flame dating back several ... days ago. A beautiful two ... hour relationship filled with a lifetime of memories before both parties, with heavy hearts, acknowledged that things simply weren't working out anymore and it would be best to go separate ways. Clearly, a dark moment for Dickie - a time of hopes lost and dreams shattered. All of his friends were really hoping this one would go the distance. But that didn't stop a couple of bad apples from laughing at his personal anguish.

Preliminary evidence already traces the attack back to another blog: Racist Tostito's Fiesta Bowl Loser. While the facilitator of this blog denies any involvement, let it be known that it is the policy of Dickie Cronkite to make no distinction between a blog harboring terrorists and the terrorists themselves. To Racist Tostito's Fiesta Bowl Loser, Dickie says this:

"This is your last chance. Provide full cooperation with our investigation, or you and the culprit of this vicious, unprovoked attack will be treated equally. Hand over the terrorists. If you do not cooperate, our response will be swift and resolute. We will act when you least expect. And let the world know our actions do not come out of revenge, but rather necessity to protect the citizens of Dickie Cronkite. Again, Racist Tostito's Fiesta Bowl Loser, this is your last chance. Thank you, good night, and God Bless America."

[fade]



**************************************************************************************



In other less wacky news, I had my second interview today, right here in God's Country. The new editor-in-chief at Publication Y is a really friendly guy, but five minutes into my second meeting with the deputy managing editors it was pretty clear they'd pulled a classic Good Cop/Bad Cop on me. Which is fine, I think I held up pretty well, considering. I think both of these interviews went as well as could be expected.

In the interest of national security, especially now that we are at war with another blog, I'm gonna refrain from further comment. Suffice to say I'm hoping for some offers and fingers are crossed.
Tightly.


...


*sigh*


...


Look folks, I'm not in Venezuela anymore. There's no more wild and crazy stuff to report, alright? Alright?? Christ. I feel like Celtics-era Rick Pitino during the "Larry Bird is not walking through that door" press conference in Boston.

(I think maybe one of you got that joke. Maybe.)