OK, first: The stunned looks that my best friend Boozemyer gave me, as he watched me root for UT last night, were instant classics.

Texas? Really? I'm running around Boozey's living room performing goofy dances of joy because Vince Young just scored the game-winning touchdown? Is this really happening?

Yes, apparently it is. That's how much I hate the Trojans - I'll gladly throw my cards in with the friggin' *Longhorns,* the last college team I should ever be rooting for.

Last night's UT victory (I prefer "SC loss") was the biggest dagger I've witnessed on a playing field - the most dramatic upset since Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and the Wolverines single handedly defeated the Soviet Army. 'Since Sauran was defeated by a couple of dumb midgets on the slopes of Mount Doom - now that's embarrasing. USC's not getting up from this car crash any time soon; we can happily stick a fork in their dynasty.

Still, at what cost? Booze and I were so unsettled every time the words "Let's go, Texas!" uncontrollably left my mouth that he had to fix me two vodka tonics - about 39 parts vodka to one part tonic - and put me out of my misery before 11:30pm. He couldn't have been more merciful to a broken-legged horse.


*******************************************************************************************

So things are really gathering steam on the job front. I just got an offer from Paper X today - they want an answer as soon as possible. I should find out something definitive from Paper Y tomorrow.

Paper X is a very cool, creative, highly respected weekly business publication covering God's Country and the surrounding areas. It's a serious honor that they gave me an offer. I'd get an opportunity to write some thought-provoking biz feature material. It would be an amazing challenge...I just don't know if my heart's in that one yet - I don't know. 'Still could be. They are the only offer thus far...

Paper Y is a large suburban daily just outside of a [cough] major metropolitan area in the Midwest, a city where I would love to live for at least a few years, then see where things go. 'Probably not gonna be given a lot of space to flex my writing muscles, but it's still good desk experience - maybe not as sophisticated as the biz weekly, but closer along to my career goals...I suppose.

Paper X and Paper Y would take me down two entirely different paths.

So that's why there's Paper *Z* That's right, we've got a third variable in this equation now folks, and it's picking up steam. Fast. Seriously, how much fun would things be if I didn't throw in a Paper Z?

These guys are a couple of hours outside of God's Country, and they got my resume from their ownership's recruiting dept. Apparently they were checking me out - calling J-school profs, etc., before I got a surprise phone call yesterday that turned into a preliminary interview. I gotta say - they look solid. So today I call the guy who phone-interviewed me, told him I had a couple of offers on the table but I'm still very interested in Paper Z, so if they wanted to bring me in we should set something up ASAP.

Several hours later, Paper Z's managing editor calls me up and delivers just a *legendary* sales pitch - if I'm a chick there's no way I'm not giving this guy my digits.

Seriously, this guy pushes all the right buttons: "We do solid, investigative work. We really look for excellence, above all else. We're looking for young reporters who can learn and grow here, and take it on to the next step in their careers." I mean, that's just the general gist of it - but it was very persuasive. The guy was really talking dirty. If this was prom night, my dress was totally coming off.

(...did I just write "dress" out loud?)


************************************************************************************************



And finally...




SURPRISE (BLOG) ATTACK!!


Remember, we're at war here folks:



The image above was lifted Racist Tostitos Fiesta Bowl Loser's (left) Northwest Indiana living room and documents her and big sis dressed up as rats. In suspenders. Christ, someone should have called social services on her parents about 20 years ago. Many men died to bring us this intelligence.

It had to be done.