Well, there's seven minutes left and it's curtains for George Mason, the Greatest Tourney Cinderella of all time. Florida just went on a three-ball rampage to start the second half, so now not only have the Gators broken Hoya hearts, but hearts across the nation as well. If you're from Florida, you're dead to me.

Anyhow, this gives me a chance to put some very important thoughts down in blogular form.

LSU vs. Your UCLA Bruins is up next. I'm hopeful, yet worried - two Bruins have gone down in practice this week. Hey, you live by the Howland defensive rough-and-tumble, you die by the Howland defensive rough-and-tumble. Plus, I've heard way too much talk from UCLA players this week about winning another national championship and not enough chatter about beating LSU.


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The Kraft Nabisco LGP- er, LPGA golf tourney rolled into town this weekend. Along with the tourney comes the annual Dinah Shore Weekend - the largest lesbian party event in the world. I'm not kidding - look it up.

So I'm out for a jog around Downtown God's Country East this morning. Couples as far as the eye can see - an unexpected mid-morning psychedelic haze of shaved heads, tie-dye, oversized cargo shorts and cut-off fatigues, and, of course, birkenstocks. This look is everywhere - I'm not exaggerating - everywhere.

So here's my deal. I completely support the right of any consenting adult(s) to sleep with any other consenting adult(s). And naturally if you're two or more women I not only support but strongly encourage. And the right to build families recognized by the state, equal as any other? I'm totally on board.

That said, running the streets this morning...I'm just totally perplexed by lesbian, um, "fashion." Look, I know men and women are different. So even if we're both attracted to girls, the gender gap generally has us attracted to different female personalities and physical attributes. I wouldn't expect a lesbian to abide by a man's standard of ideal beauty. That's just a long-winded, douchebaggy way of saying beauty's in the eye of the beholder.

But that said, I mean, I was just talking it over with JD^2... Beauty might be subjective, but Christ people! Birkenstocks are still birkenstocks! Oversized cargo pants and cutoff fatigues are still oversized cargo pants and effing cutoff fatigues! There's just no getting around it. Extra-large flannel is sti- well, you get the idea. Are we trying to attract someone or follow Phish for the summer?

Lesbians confuse me. The female form is by far God's finest creation. (The Lawd! The Hugh Hefner on high!) And here you have girls who want to have sex with each other, which is just so commendable. Now, don't objectify yourselves, but why take it to the other extreme? You girls are on the very cusp of greatness!

And no, I didn't see any lipstick lesbians today. I guess that's partially my point - I'm starting to wonder if the "lipstick lesbian" is really just this popular contrived fantasy to entice men...sort of like the mermaid. I don't think I saw any lipsticks, but then again maybe I passed two hot girls walking together and my brain simply couldn't process the possibility of them sleeping together because that would lead to full system shut-down, sort of like a natural defense mechanism. I dunno...

Anyways, enough of my Coach Wooden-esque musings regarding girl-on-girl action. Bring me UCLA, baby!