Watching this morning's local newscast, By 7:30 a.m. it was 80 degrees with a high of 105. The five-day was littered with 100-plus highs, notably Friday with a high of 111, the only one with a "Hot!" graphic, which is a convoluted way of saying EVERYONE HERE IS FUCKING HIGH HELP!


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Speaking of high, I love how Joe Theismann railed on Ricky Williams as a disgrace for smoking pot. Look, I'm no goddamn dirty hippy but this is the latest example to highlight the pot vs. alcohol hypocrisy. I don't remember Joe chiming in when the Vikings pulled a booze-drenched Frankie Muniz on their yaht, or when Joe Namath made a drunken ass out of himself during that sideline interview ... or after that former Ram killed someone while driving drunk. Any thoughts on Ray Carruth, Joe? Ricky's public enemy no. 1 for the NFL? Really?

No, pot's clearly the problem! I'm not saying Ricky didn't royally screw over the Dolphins. I'm also not selling organic burritos at Phish shows, but I've said it before and I'll say it again: As long as pot's used in moderation - what's the difference to its social function from alcohol? "Gateway drug" my ass. I love how we confuse kids with PSA's encouraging to pull a Nancy Reagan and just say no, then bombard them with booze commercials telling them the hottest girls will want to fuck them if they drink Bud Light.

I call false advertising! Now if you'll excuse me I have to go pick up my medicinal marijuana card. Also, I hear Phil Lesh and Friends is playing.


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Speaking of dope, I'd just like to point out to my Spanish friend El Matador that his arch nemesis Lance Armstrong, the destroyer of European cycling, was just officially cleared of doping. Or, as Matador would say, "yoping."