There's that scene at the end of Braveheart, where Mel Gibson discusses with his group whether he should accept the invite to go sit at the table with the British. It could easily be a trap. But he's got to go. Because what happens if he doesn't?

"Noothin"

Of course, he goes and it is a trap and he's drawn and quartered and disemboweled and decapitated and they tear his body apart and send the pieces to Britain's four corners and hang his head on a London Bridge spike. (Then he gets pulled over in Malibu and it's those dirty Jews' fault.)

And thus, I venture up to NoCal in just a few hours. The dirty Giants have invited me to AT&T Park - or whatever telecommunications sponsor they have this month - to discuss a cease-fire during Sunday's game with the Dodgers.

Ostensibly, I'm heading up there to attend Nameless' friend's wedding. That's my cover. I even let out the waist on my slacks since my salad lunch diet hasn't quite been a success. (Hey, a Togo's Cobb Salad may have bacon, chicken, guacamole and egg drowned in Ranch dressing but it's still a goddamn salad, alright.)

But in several hours, on Friday the 13th, I get on a plane with a Giants jersey that I had confiscated packed in my luggage for the woman. This could be bad...very, very bad.

BTW, HBO's latest sports doc is a history of the Brooklyn Dodgers and it's really great - do check it out. And I understand the whole point was to show just how heartbreaking the Dodgers' departure was to Brooklyn fans ... but the one issue I had is they made it seem like the team just disappeared into oblivion once they left, thee end.

Um, I hate to break it to all you snooty, snobby douchebag New Yorkers but life does go on outside of your lovely city, and the Dodgers are alive and well and you're free to keep rooting for 'em.

I hope my old J-school prof just read that.

But I digress. Our legacy is Jack Roosevelt Robinson - one man whose courage changed America. The Giants' legacy is a guy with a telescope stealing signs and, ultimately, the pennant. (Barry Bonds much?) And we took the fight to God's Country and the Land that God Forsake, respectively.

Nameless and I will be at the game, Sunday. This could get ugly. Pray Jeff Tomko's not pitching...

Speaking of Dodger pitching staff, here's a God's Country trivia question: What do Derek Lowe and Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa have in common? Besides egregious sweating under pressure, I mean?

Also, for you Chi-town folk out there, be sure to download episode six of This American Life's new TV episodes: "Pandora's Box." There's a really interesting segment on The Wiener Circle. Mercifully, no cashiers lift up their shirts and hold hot dog buns under their boobs.


And finally, go see Transformers.