Jeff Findel's
Pastrami On Wry


Tree man
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I think that if you were a tree-man and you walked into a greenhouse you would be freaked out! You’d pull back the door flap to one section and there’d be hundreds of the same kind of plant all in a row under these oppressive florescent lights. You’d be lumbering down the aisles in your tree-walk way, frantically looking at identification tags and prices and frightened by the metal watering hoses that would hang from the ceiling (cause you’re a tree and wouldn’t know what they were). And none of them (other plants) could move or talk to you. And you’d pull back another flap and there would be flowers this time, hundreds of them. And then another flap and there would be these weird kind of vegetables. Here comes the gardener in a white lab coat, dirt down the front from where he has wiped his hands. But you can’t hide cause you are too big, and there’s nowhere to go and you don’t look like these plants, you don’t fit. And you’re breathing really fast, carbon dioxide in, oxygen out…


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