Wow, my life has really sucked recently and it doesn't look like it's going to get any better. Everything is falling apart. I want to die.

I should be happy. Outwardly it looks like I have everything. I'm in law school, I'm going to be getting married, etc. But that's not what it feels like on the inside. On the inside I'm all in turmoil. Just when I think I'm at the worst point, things keep getting worse. I feel like I'm being swallowed up by darkness and have no way out. There's a black hole that's consuming me from the inside out. Things are getting so bad that I can't eat (which might turn out to be a good thing if I lose some weight) and I keep feeling sick to my stomach. I even had to make a run to the bathroom this morning to throw up. I want things to change. I want to be happy again. I just don't know how to make that happen. Oh well, maybe I can just hope that the pain goes away and I become numb to it all. To be numb to everything once again would be a welcome relief to all of this pain. I don't know how much longer I can take it.