I am not a happy camper right now. The ONE THING I was looking forward to this weekend is not happening. The one thing I NEEDED to stay sane and not have a complete nervous breakdown isn't gonna happen. I hate my life.

Those of you who read this on a regular basis are probably well aware that I can't take school anymore and am stressed to the max. I am seriously about to have a nervous breakdown. And so I tried to get some friends together to go out clubbing on Saturday. Getting wasted and dancing and partying is a wonderful stress reliever and usually keeps me from crossing over into the realm of insanity. Carrie and I were both looking forward to it since she's in the same boat I am right now (including the lack of any employment after graduation).

However, it looks as if this Saturday I won't be at a club. Our designated driver backed out. Now, he did back out due to medical reasons, so I do understand that he doesn't wanna go (he has an infected sore someplace not too cool) but that doesn't help my mental state. I NEEDED this. I NEEDED to have fun, dance, and get smashed. And now there's no way that can happen because I can't find a new designated driver. Fuck.

As a warning, I'm really losing it. So unless you're Rob or in school with me you might want to stay away from me for a bit. I'm about to lose it and I don't know if I'll end up as suicidal or homicidal yet. But I do hate almost everyone right now.

I think I'll go lie down on PCH and pray to get hit by a bus.