Thanks to my husband Rob for coming up with this.

I've Got No Legs

(To the tune of "I've Got No Strings", from Pinnochio)

I've got no legs, to hold me down
I can't get up or walk around
I had legs, but now I'm free
I've got no legs on me!

Hi, ho, the merry-o
I'm as crippled as can be
I want the Lord to know
That he has forgotten me

I've got no legs, but I can stare
At everyone from in this chair
I had legs, but can't you see
There are no legs on me!

Hi, ho, the merry-o
I'm as lame as lame can be
I want the world to know
I'm slower than a fucking tree

I've got no legs, so I sit still
And think about who I should kill
God comes first, for can't you see
He stole my legs from me!

- (c) 2005, Robert C. Rossel