There's been a lot of badness going on in my life recently. I know, this too shall pass, but it really doesn't make things any easier. Especially because the problems are right there in my face on a near constant basis. Gabriel is the light of my life, the only thing keeping me from curling up into a little ball and sobbing. He's amazing and he knows when I'm having a problem and is always there for me. Sure, there are days when it's tough watching him, but those days are only occasional. Most of the time he's my partner in crime. He's my little buddy and I don't know what I'd do without him. There are times when he's the one thing that keeps me going. I'd do anything for him.

My wrist is horrible. I'm guessing it's from the carpal tunnel. It's been bothering me again recently, but as of yesterday, the pain was intense and it's just getting worse. I have a brace on it almost constantly and trying to do my hair this morning (shampooing, hair drying, flat ironing, etc.) brought me to tears because of the pain. I have a fairly decent tolerance for pain, but this constant horrible pain is a lot to deal with.

I know, see a doctor. When? I don't have the time. Also, there's no point. I can't get another cortisone shot and since it's gotten so bad again in a short amount of time, I'm either going to need physical therapy or surgery. Going to physical therapy 2-3 times a week isn't possible when I have the responsibility to watch over Gabriel while I'm job hunting. Surgery is out of the question. It's a 12 week recovery time. I couldn't use the computer, job hunt, go to an interview, take care of Gabriel, etc. Just not possible. Right now, I'm trying to favor it as much as possible. I've been reading up on things and know that if I don't take care of it, permanent nerve damage is possible. I already have permanent nerve damage in my stomach and right knee, I don't need it somewhere else (who does though). So yeah, I'm in constant severe pain. It can really grate on you.

There are other problems going on as well. I've been working my ass off on trying to make an outstanding anniversary for Rob and I. I'm the one who seems to always have to take the initiative in these things, and so I did. I was working on a night at a hotel (possibly even in a cute town that Rob had heard about, but anywhere would suffice) and an awesome dinner the night of our anniversary. I was going to work on getting my Mom out here that weekend to watch Gabriel because for the health of our relationship, Rob and I desperately need some alone time. Our last alone time was a few hours over a year ago when we went to see Cloverfield.

Anyway, I found out last night that it's not going to happen. Rob's made it so that my Mom has to be out here a different weekend to give me a hand with the errands and Gabriel since he'll be gone. Granted, he didn't know about my surprise until last night (which is why it was going to be a surprise), but having to cancel everything after working so hard on it sucks. Big time. It's hard... if I want something romantic done I need to set it up myself, and I was working my butt off on this... for nothing. Right now, I don't even want to do anything for our anniversary. Fuck it. It's not even worth trying to do cool things like this anymore. If no one else cares, why the hell should I?

Anyway, things are bad for me right now. I'm ranting because I need to rant, so I'm disabling the comments. I'm not looking for pity, I just need to vent.

I'm currently on a break from my Elder Law seminar. It's a half day seminar that started at 8:30am and will end around 12:30pm. It's live, so the end time is approximate. I thought I'd take the break to put something up here. I just needed to vent.

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Jittery

I seem to be leading a slightly hectic lifestyle. This may be because I'm up a lot, and have to drink coffee to keep me ALIVE or because I have no time for anything due to a busy schedule. I need to make some time for myself, but first I'd need to FIND time to MAKE time!

What Does Your Sleeping Style Say About You?