Yesterday: ride to Connecticut in the company van, all swaddled in soft leather, with 3 of my co-workers, convinced we're going to die in a flaming wreck on the Jersey turnpike because our driver is a lunatic who zooms along at 80+ mph, approximately 2.5" from the bumper of the car in front of him. So maybe that's exactly how I drive, but it's different when I'm the one steering my fate. Total transit time: 3 hours

Last night: Dinner at Morton's. Embarrassing portions of very good food and wine.

Today: drive back from Connecticut, still convinced we have an exploding van accident in our future (made all the more real by the driver's steely-faced grimace that the Dunkin Donuts guy at the rest stop "didn't fill his coffee cup all the way up"). Total transit time: 4.5 hours. 50% more time to get home. Why are there 50% more drivers driving south than north? Won't all the excess eventually fill up the south and destabilize the Earth's orbit? Won't we soon run out of drivers who need to drive south?

I stayed in a Westin last night for the first time in years. I slept in a Heavenly Bed (TM) under a Heavenly Duvet (TM) filled with a Heavenly Down Blanket (TM) layered with Heavenly Sheets (TM) and my head cradled on Heavenly Pillows (TM). All of which could be purchased from the handy Heavenly Bed (TM) side catalog for $2,595. Shipping not included.

I poke fun at those wacky Westin people who reinvented their hotel chain by trademarking a bunch of bedding, but the bed was very comfortable, the sheets were silky and the pillows soft. The bathroom has a curved shower rod (you got it, the Heavenly Rod (TM)) that gives you an additional 8 inches of space in the tub while the curtain in closed. All for only $249/night, plus $10/day for internet access that didn't allow me to get into my work network.

Movies: We didn't bring any movies with us to watch while we careened to near-certain death so we had to talk about work.