February has Mardi Gras (in most years), March celebrates St. Patrick's Day, May has Cinco de Mayo. Even January has the immediate aftermath of New Year's Eve. April seems at a disadvantage when it comes to holidays that involve copious drinking and debauchery. Easter, when it occurs in April, hardly seems a candidate, nor does April Fool's Day, which would surely provide many candidates for the Darwin Awards were bars to suddenly throw wads of marketing dollars at combining practical jokes with vast quantities of alcohol.

April does, however, have the distinction of being International Guitar Month, National Anxiety Month, National Humor Month and National Welding Month, which would provide for an interesting consolidated holiday. There are also many food celebrations in April:

April 2 - peanut butter and jelly
April 14 - pecans
April 16 - cheeseballs
April 22 - jelly beans
April 24 - pigs in a blanket
April 25 - zucchini bread
April 29 - shrimp scampi

An all-American pot luck feast could be enjoyed based on that menu alone. And then there's the premier event of the entire month - All is Ours Day on April 8th. Coupled with Tell-a-Lie Day on April 4th, the month could be the basis for Dubya's re-election platform.

Yes, I am a couple of months early with this diatribe about April, but there wasn't much to write about today. Examples: I have a mammoth project to do at work, which is both urgent and critically important, but which I am not motivated to undertake and which my managers are loath to work on. A co-worker whom I've known for 25 years sat in my office today and cried over the inexplicable demise of her career. My husband and older daughter are sick with some sort of flu-like illness. iTunes has apparently run out of copies of a song I had in my shopping cart but had not purchased yet. How do you run out of digital media? Or did they lose their licensing rights? Inquiring minds want to know why Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow was removed, but Apple isn't talking.