Yesterday I was asked to do an interview with a journalist from a trade publication that covers the industry that my company serves. I do these on an infrequent basis and always feel as if I have to get every point across inthefirst5secondsoftheanswertothefirstquestion. As a result, I speak at approximately the speed of sound, so that the words sometimes reach the interviewer's ears before they leave my mouth. I always feel as if:
1. I make no sense at all.
2. The answers never address the questions, and sometimes aren't even about the same topic (Zell Miller and I have a lot in common that way).
3. I jeopardize the future success of my company and the retirements of many shareholders because I blurt out something either stupid or inaccurate or likely to be pounced upon by our competitors or all of the above.
4. The journalist has to scribble in mad shorthand to keep up with my babbling and ends up with quotes like "Technological advancements are the underpinnings of the infrastructure through which constituents of our clients have come to expect seamless integration and interoperability via identity management."
5. Or, worse yet, "We find that extremely interesting and have no further comment, but if we did, we would be in favor of world peace and harmony, a chicken, or suitable vegetarian substitute, in every pot, and fluffy bunnies. Amen."

This is all based on actual experience. In a previous interview I was quoted as saying something along the lines of "Let them eat cake", although it was couched in terms of firing their sorry asses if they couldn't keep up with change. Whose asses were on the line is anybody's guess. I had a college friend who saw the interview call and ask if I had really made those statements. I, of course, had no comment.