I’ve got to stop eating chocolate ice cream doused in Hershey’s syrup late in the evening. The calorie count is bad enough (even though it is Breyer’s low carb confection), but it’s the caffeine that really does me in. I’ve had insomnia problems for years and have been seeing a sleep doctor (I’m sure there’s a more medically-correct term for that specialty) for several years and am also extraordinarily sensitive to caffeine. One cup of regular coffee is ok, but more than that and I start to feel like an ADHD-afflicted hummingbird on speed. Any caffeine after about 10:00 AM affects my ability to get to sleep that night. Chocolate ice cream is like taking an entire box of Vivarin (brings back college memories) washed down with a six-pack of Jolt. Even the Ambien (Works Like a Dream ™) can’t compete with that kind of potency.

Speaking of sensitive, my teeth are like delicate little flowers that shrink and quake at the prospect of dental exams. *Everything* hurts – the dreaded Cavitron, the manual scraping, the polishing, the poking with sharp, hooked implements. I’ve been using Prevident for years and recently added Sensodyne back to my daily dental hygiene routine. The combination seems to have helped, although I still wince and close my eyes numerous times during the cleaning process. I’ve also been using the Colgate Sensitive toothbrush for several years and have been dismayed to find it gone from my local CVS. The link on the Colgate web site takes you to drugstore.com, which no longer sells it either. Luckily, my dentist still has a stash of them, which I draw down on every time I visit. It’s the only toothbrush soft enough for my teeth – the other “Soft” brushes feel as if I’m using a wire grill brush. I’ve thought about buying a kid’s brush, because I seem to recall them being very gentle, but I’d really rather not stick Barbie in my mouth.

As if all my recent bitching wasn’t bad enough, here’s another tale of almost-woe. When I parked my car this morning in front of my boss’s building, I left it in a prime parking space that was suspiciously empty after the start of the regular work day (yeah, I was late). After I emerged into the light from my all-day meeting, I discovered why the space had been left empty. My car was entirely covered with yellow jackets! Blanketed with the little sons-of-bitches. They were buzzing and chatting with each other, and made threatening noises as I approached (carrying umbrella, briefcase and pocketbook). I made several forays to open one of the doors, but couldn’t get close. I waved at them with the umbrella and yelled profanity. They wouldn’t leave. I finally was able to grab open the rear door, toss in my gear, and run to the front, entering the car with great speed so that none of the little buggers would enter with me. I immediately started up the windshield wipers, grinding several of them into the glass, a warning to the others who vanished as I pulled away from the shelter of the tree (their tree, apparently) under which I had been parked. It’s ok to look a gift space in the mouth.