So I’m watching this medical drama called House (medical and crime dramas are my weaknesses – they allow me to vegetate in the evening when I should be thinking serious thoughts about the future of my company’s business and whether I really have to get holiday gifts for the entire administrative staff) and there’s this patient who apparently has Mad Zebra disease and all I can think is “Give that poor woman some Chapstick™!” As one who is physically addicted to Blistex™ (I prefer the mint, but the plain will do in a pinch) I can spot painfully dry lips from a kilometer away.
Spolier: She actually has Mad Worm disease, which involves disgusting invertebrates invading her brain and other important tissues. She’s cured, but the hostile, anti-social doctor is not.

Movies: The Forgotten. A silly story with three genuinely jump-out-of-your-seat startling moments. The always-luminous Julianne Moore is wasted in this piece of not-quite-trash. Alfre Woodard must have been wishing aliens really would woosh her up into the sky after she saw the whole movie. Loved the premise, shrugged at the execution.
The Incrediles - I was prepared to love this movie as much as I had the other Pixar films. Although it was mostly entertaining, it was only moderately amusing and it was about 30 minutes too long. Disappointingly, there were no outtakes at the end.
The Butterfly Effect – Another good premise, sort of a poor man’s Sliding Doors mixed with The Lathe of Heaven and a dash of Donnie Darko. Ashton Kutcher may, however, provide Demi Moore with endless hours of entertainment, but he’s no Jake Gyllenhaal (or Gwyneth Paltrow, for that matter).
Cheaper by the Dozen – This was one of my favorite books when I was a kid. The movie and the book have this in common:
Bridget Jones – Marshmallow fluff has more substance than this bit of sweetened air, but it did keep enough of my attention to stay awake.