There isn’t much that squicks me out more than walking outside at night and being assaulted by a spider web. There is always the presumption that a large, hairy spider is attached to the web and thoroughly resents being ripped from his home and is intent on causing me great bodily harm. Ok, this might be even more skin-crawlingly awful, but I don’t generally run into worm-infested rodents on a regular basis.

Sunrise Senior Living communities are cropping up like Scientologists at a Tom Cruise movie. They now display a sign that states that they have a "special neighborhood for the memory impaired". This made me think about all the special neighborhoods we should have elsewhere in life.

1. For the Hummer drivers who cannot remember that you park BETWEEN the little white lines in the parking lot, not on top of them.

2. For those who need remedial therapy in understanding that when there is approximately one-quadrillionth of an inch left in the pot, you need to make fresh coffee. The aroma of freshly burnt sludge is just too much for some delicate stomachs.

3. For the homeowners who have a desiccated Christmas wreath crumbling on their front door in August. Oh wait. That would be me.