I was talking today to a friend about the memorial this weekend for Buz (F. M. Busby, who died last month). Buz and his wife were for me just, you know, folks I'd known for years. Don't remember when or where we met, always part of the same orbit, all friends. For many writers, Buz was super-supportive when they started out. She said he was one of those guys who could look at a contract from a publisher and find the "gotchas", the stuff that they tried to convince you was "standard" and wasn't. And years ago, when this friend was leaving her husband, who had some serious problems, was possibly dangerous, was abusive when he drank, she was helped by Buz and his wife while trying to get out of the marriage and get her life together, staying at a place they had. I hadn't known any of this about this friend; as long as I've known her, I think, she's been married to one of the world's good guys. But by offering my friend a place to stay, these two people put themselves out there. And at one point, she said, when she expressed concern, Buz offered more than that, offering something that seriously could have put him in harm's way. All for a friend.

A while ago, I was in a quandary about something - nothing nearly so serious as the above - and the person I was dealing with offered me support. And she said something that helped beyond measure. It was then that I realized that I knew possibly the four BEST words someone can ever say to you. And this is true outside of, or even alongside of "I love you" because "I love you" doesn't always carry the same message. There's always the possibility of a "but" there, or simply because love is not the panacea, the "so all will be well" that the fairy tales hint at. But here's what I think is one of the finest things any one person can say to another:

I'VE GOT YOUR BACK.