I’ve never seen the tiresome-beyond-belief response that occurs when a home team gets into the Super Bowl until, well, the last 2 weeks. You can imagine. I seriously (pick one) hate/am bored by/despise/am baffled by/am completely uninterested in anything have to do with the game of American football so trying to find something to read in the newspaper – yeah, I read the sports sections – has been really tedious since about, well, whenever the team won the game that put them in the SB a couple of weeks ago.

I started getting the other paper again on a short term deal; it’s amazing that something as simple as adding a newspaper to an already outstanding subscription can be so frakking difficult for the newspaper company. I filled out a form to add the P-I when I was in the grocery store less than 2 weeks ago. I had to call once to straighten out the fact that I was getting a “pre-Sunday paper on Saturday (a recent attempt to gain readers which I found wasteful and pointless and hadn’t signed up for) AND to try to ensure that I was getting the P-I (they claimed it began on the Friday, no I didn’t see it until the Saturday, ok – but the last time this happened they tried to bill me for 3 days worth of papers too) AND to ensure I wasn’t getting two bills, and seeing my subscription cancelled or changed or whatever. I’ve gotten the paper for years and although it’s not happened in a while, I still used to get come-on calls to subscribe. AS I say, it’s really apparently way harder than I realize to do the work that brings me a newspaper in the morning.

Yesterday, there were 2 bags out there; One had one paper, one had two. Okay, accidental. Today…..yeah yeah, same thing. So I called and reported it, said “I signed on for ONE of each, I am not paying for the extras, this is the second phone call in two weeks about something this simple.” I was not really happy. The phone person said she’d make sure a note went to the carrier to fix it. My phone range like a minute later and it was some guy from the newspaper who “found the message he had gotten confusing and wanted to clarify. SCUZE ME? How hard is “I’m getting too many papers.” But he says “I understand you signed up for the P-I and are not getting it?” Jesus. What note did the phone answerer write that this SIMPLE thing was not simple. And AGAIN, I had to explain. I can’t wait to see the bill from these morons. I’m sorry but they’re morons. This is NOT the hardest of jobs, to look up an account and add a newspaper to an already existing account. Just add. Nothing more. Can’t WAIT to see what arrives tomorrow.

I’m SO glad to be GETTING both papers, though because if I hadn’t gotten them today I would not have seen the following stories, which I SO DESPERATELY NEEDED TO SEE.

In the “alternative, we’ve run out of stories about the Seahawks, Media day (LOVED the hand puppet), we’re reporting now on strip clubs in Ontario, and the Stones” coverage, we get the cable station Animal Planet’s alternative to the football game on Sunday: Puppy Bowl II. For THREE hours, apparently we get (according to the writer who saw the highlight reel from PB I) “just a bunch of puppies romping around in a pen that looks like a football stadium….followed by the selection of the Most valuable Puppy.” The halftime show apparently will involve kittens.

Then there’s the report of last Saturday’s Brooklyn’ s “Idiotarod” race, New York’s answer to the Iditarod, which involves humans pulling/propelling shopping carts. Best imagery from the article described the teams that included a group of 7 foot bananas and a barrelful of “naughty monkeys” (it doesn’t say in what way naughty – we’re better off not knowing I think), a bunch of vampires escorting a bat with a 12 foot wingspan, and the team from the Mayo clinic, dressed as doctors, slathered with mayonnaise.

Thanks, I needed that.