There are lots of photos and blogs out there about Bouchercon. I’m not a major fan of photos but I would recommend the COWS. They are worth checking out. See (http://wisconsin.cowparade.com/) for your mooing, er viewing pleasure.

Moo.

Sarah the Invincible Weinman has links to every one’s blog (probably not this one since it tends to stand behind a pillar) and what I love is that tied in with the pages are “linked” advertisements. Except they’re not because they are for “Boucheron” – the jewelry company that for YEARS has caused me to practically snap my neck off at the double take I do upon seeing the ads in highfalutin’ mags like The New Yorker. There but for a typo. (I may have mentioned the “House of Corfu” pizza place in Massachusetts where a bunch of us s.f. fans dreamed nightly of grabbing a ladder and a can of paint and making it “House of Corflu”. Corflu being fan-speak for “correction fluid” and it’s a mainstay of fanzine terminology. If you are old enough to remember the mimeograph, you know from “correction fluid”.

I’m still doing my Kermit the Forg imitation (“Kermit the Forg?” “Kermit the Forg? Fozzie, this is NOT going to work!”) squeaking and croaking along with the breeze. I really tend not to get “convention crud” – generic bugs from traveling – any more. I turn into Vitamin Girl at cons. This Bcon I went up to my room a couple of nights instead of trying to suck every ounce of fun from the evening. I KNOW I missed things- how could I not- but as it is, I’m still so tired that I can’t remember the name of the photocopy place up the street, am having distinct problems typing my own name…you know. Blitherer’s disease.

I didn’t get a second with Chris Aldrich which is dismaying since talking with her is always a highlight of my convention. I really missed Kate – it’s not right to have a convention without Kate Derie. But great conversations – both those I expected with Cornelia and Shira and those that were serendipity like that one with Steve Booth or talking panel moderating with Kate Flora and at least a few minutes with Sandra Ruttan, getting to meet Randy Hicks, and getting in one good line with Gary Phillips (on his knees at the time – take advantage of a situation where you see one), connecting atleast a little with Brett Battles and Sarah (from Canberra) and Aaron Elkins (“You know you’re a fan #4”: you KNOW you’re a fan when you travel thousands of miles to see folks from your home town. I got to do the “ohmygodyou’resuchagoodwriter” bit to Jim Fusilli as I tried very hard not to roll over his toes in the elevator) and caught a minute with that oh so nice guy Daniel Hale. Ellen Hart looked really good; I know she’s still dealing with the results of her accident and as she says, she’ll always know winter’s coming, but it was reassuring to see her. Ken Wishnia looked baffled when I chatted him up despite having had conversations with the guy in the past (it’s Bouchercon, Jake) and managing to avoid a couple of people I thought it would be good to avoid. Carroll Johnson and I have SWORN, SWORN that we’ll plan ahead next time and actually do something ordinary like have breakfast. And Jan, I promise next time Murray WILL come. He’s a social gorilla and he misses the bright lights too sometimes.

Thanks of huge order go to Jay Margulies, Portland carpetbagger who helped out at the LCC table just cuz he’s a nice guy (and excellent dinner companion.) I’m hugely grateful to Mary Kay Kare for all her help, and Jay for not only filling in but having change when I sort of forget I might need it. And to Meg and Jan and Peggy and folks who took time from the con to meet with me and do LCC business. I wanna clone B G Ritts for not only being an excellent room monitor but GETTING it about access far more than needed. She just knows and how nice that was.

I was in Madison for Wiscon in 1990. My birthday fell during the convention. A bunch of us strolled State Street of course, and whilst in Sacred Feather, this amazing hat shop, I fell in love with a blue spangled beret which Emma Bull and gang bought for me. Not a lot of places to wear a blue spangled beret. But I was stunned recently when I asked Stu, who’d just been to Wiscon 30 as a returning GoH, if the hat shop was still there. After all, this is a college gown and it’s on the “college strip”. It was. (http://www.sacredfeather.com/) While strolling State Street after dinner Wed night, I noted the huge flight of stairs and didn’t see a sign, the little blue and white wheelchair thing, no arrows, nuttin’. It’s in the middle of a block but I didn’t see an alley or side entrance. So I called the next morning and asked “are you accessible?” “Wha?” says the woman who answered. Ok, maybe that’s too jargony (jargonesque?). “Are you accessible to people with disabilities.” “No, we’re not.” Oh.

OH. I just sort of stopped. I so did not expect that answer. It was so bald. I expected a yes, I admit. Madison is progressive. Madison is also flat. Madison has curb ramps on every corner in the downtown area. I was especially not expecting an unadorned “no”. I had seen something in one of the hotel “tourist guides” that I think referred to the building as historic, so that might explain it but when I call someone to ask and they answer “no” they USUALLY explain. Say “sorry it’s an historic building” “sorry was there something speicifc you wanted?” just SOME acknowledgement that they don’t serve a specific population. But well, nope. So I just said. Oh and said goodbye. I didn’t say “thank you” because frankly I didn’t see what to thank her for. But there went my hat expedition.

I’m a hat person. Not a huge hat person and I don’t go to Malice (never have – mostly because it’s so far away and it’s so cozy) but I do like hats and have long believed I’m of the part of the population that can wear hats. I dunno about you but I really believe there are hat people and there are non-hat people. But what the HELL is the point of hat shopping by internet? I mean Stu’s found some great shoe shopping sites (free returns!) but hats?

So no shit there I was suddenly with a little cash to spend on something that wasn’t going to be a hat. I wasn’t SURE I would have walked away with that fabulous Red Rider (http://www.sacredfeather.com/western.html) a red western style hat, but I had it sort of vaguely possibly in my plans maybe. Even some of the women’s straw hats – ooh nice- would have suited.

Next door to Sacred Feather (Andi reads VERY carefully to be sure she has not typed “Scared Feather”) is a Lands’ End Outlet. NOW THIS is exciting. Half my clothes come from Lands’ End (yea I know – that apostrophe is annoying. And yea, Iknow, LE is not by any definition “exciting”). And while I had just placed an order for some stuff with another catalogue company, I still had plans to attend parties 2 nights and oh man was Wednesday night COLD. I mean I was invited to “cocktail parties” and even though I knew we weren’t in a Manhattan penthouse (I so associate cocktail parties with the likes of Nick and Nora, and movies and fancy glassware and strange combinations of fluids) I still worried about what one wore to a publisher party in Madison at Bouchercon. A publisher’s cocktail party. But hell with it. I bought a sweater. I did bring a black dress but oh my god. It’s cotton and I didn’t bring leg warmers and my wool cape –which is the ONLY way you woulda gotten me into that dress at night.

Of course it warmed up. Right after I bought the blue Lands End Sweater (the hell with that stupid apostrophe, ok?) And I bought a shirt. Ok and some boots. And long flannel nightie because I need one – even if (wince) it is pink and floral, it was like half-price.

So there, take THAT hat shop.

I went back down State Street on Sunday afternoon and went into the silk shop after being told it was also an outlet type store and no, they had lots more stuff than I thought (I thought “silk underwear” and that’s really NOT Seattle stuff. But oh. My. God. I left there with a black suede jacket. Now you know me – I whine a lot about not having money. And I don’t have a lot of clothes. I’m sitting here right now in a tee shirt that got to be 7 years old, and some leggings I bought at least 5 years ago. I don’t work so I don’t use those clothes and I’m not hard on stuff; I wear the same old thing endlessly. But I went NUTS. I’m now set for life I think for ANY cocktail party I ever am invited to again. IF I EVER AM. And if I can get in.

All the parties were outside of the Concourse, the main hotel where I stayed. Friday’s party was at a brew pub and it never occurred to me to wonder about access, it really didn’t. thank the GODS Cornelia went with me because I was worse than usual when it came to knowing where iw as going. We arrived there just to see a hotel van pull up; apparently arrangements had been made to provide a shuttle to the party. Maybe it only happened the weekend of but no matter, it didn’t help me.

Because well um, is the same damn shuttle that the hotel sends to the airport. NO LIFT. NO RAMP. So everyone gets to get a ride. But me and my date, the lovely and patient and wonderful Cornelia who heads on in to find out if we’re welcome. And oh yeah, we were. They had one of those little tiny lifts for one but it worked FINE and the guy was nice and led us through the bowels of the basement til we found the noise, and the party. PHEW. And since this scooter, just a year old, is the first I ever had with a seat lift, I was someone of an obstacle but I did get to raise myself up to talk with people which saves me some wear and tear AND helps other people who don’t then have to bend down to talk with me. And it put me almost eye level with the booths. All RIGHT. But Cornelia and I schlepped the blocks from the Concourse and back. It wasn’t awful but it wasn’t warm; and while lots of folks walked, they at least had the option. My hands were cold most of the convention. If you shook my hand, I apologize.

Throughout the weekend, from then on, everyplace I went I saw hotel vans. EVERY party apparently had made a deal with the Concourse to provide lifts of people. Or something had happened. Including the Saturday event I’d written off as way too far away – no mention of transportation there. No one had bothered to check with me on possible alternatives. I had, in fact, put in an application for “paratransit” in Madison. I did, in fact, know they have a taxi servie with vans that are ramped (and very nice ones too.) BOTH of these systems a) cost money b) require advance planning. You cannot call paratransit and say “come get me”. You ened to notify them in advance – sometimes 3 days or more. As for the cab, it is on the streets 24/7 but it’s a CAB. If it’s in use by someone with a disability it isn’t available. And free shuttles are free; taxicabs aren’t. (yes, they were for my airport transportation, but only after I spent hours working on that issue as well. And convincing the hotel that while this may never have come up before – WHA???? – it needed to be dealt with now. God, I’m such trouble.)

I want to stop for a while – I’ve been blabbing here for PAGES, my back hurts and you all must be tired. I’ll wrap up with part 3, what happened Friday night and maybe I’ll have some intelligent conclusion.