I know, I truly DO know I should have more patience. It's getting damn difficult. When you host an event called "Left Coast Crime" that has a web page and that web page is headed "Left Coast Crime: 17th annual western mystery fan convention", then when you get emails that either ask about the "writer's conference" or get the name wrong, it's hard to be all that patient.

Years ago I used to think that because people read a lot, they all could spell properly. I've learned that's not so, and I get it, even if I don't quite understand it but I DO get that very very good readers and constant readers and voracious readers are not always excellent spellers. Sides of brain, different wavelengths, I don't know but I get it.

It's like how I had to get that friends of mine who love music, who attend concerts and for whom music is an important part of life can't sing. Are in fact tone-deaf. That puzzles me, since I don't know exactly what they hear. I mean it's impossible to understand what it is to hear except as you yourself hear, right? But I spent years attending concerts with a very good friend who could not hit a note, not one, even close to where it was. She loved music, liked to sing along but sang OFF. It wasn't flat it wasn't sharp, it was just nowhere close. It was painful but only slightly. She so enjoyed singing and since she wasn't up on stage, I didn't mind. I DO very much mind when the person up on stage can't sing. I very much object to Garrison Keillor singing and his total lack of talent is a reason I cannot listen to his radio show. It's painful to listen to. I cannot comprehend how anyone on Broadway would hire Rosie O'Donnell to star in a musical when she sings so very badly. I get Harvey Fierstein but I think there it's a universal agreement - we all know he can't sing. No one's pretending he can - somehow he overcomes it. These other people are, it seems,allowed to believe they can sing and I resent that. But hey, that's why I'm not in those audiences.

I DO, however, believe that if you are a writer, then you can read. Should read. Should know how to read. If you call yourself a writer, you should know how to extract information from the written word.

And thus you should not be sending me email asking for information about the "Left Coast Writers Fest". If someone told you about it and said to email me, okay, maybe it's okay to write saying "are you running a left coast writers fest? Please tll me about it. Do you have a website?"

But if, in fact, you tell me that you went to the web site for LCC 2007 and could not find information, I'm a bit puzzled. (I've clearly made it way too difficult to find the description. I have an entire page headed "What IS LCC?" and it requires far too much clicking, apparently. But you know if I put it on the main page, the dozens and hundreds of people who DO know would find it a waste of time and unnecessary.)

I DO think that looking at a website where you're wondering "gee, what IS this?" that has something that says WHAT IT IS (gee, what is LCC? Maybe I can read this thing that says "What IS LCC?") should result in your being able to discern what it is. If not, then perhaps you should not assume. You might write and say "sorry I'm still not clear on what LEft Coast cRime a mysery fan convention is? Could you tell me what the difference is between a convention and a conference (at which time I would roll my eyes and give you the blog link and then cut and paste the whole thing into your email for you to read. Because I still think you should have been able to find it but alas....)

HOWEVER, I DO think that going to the page that refers to LCC 2007 as a "mystery fan convention" should mean that you do NOT write to ask me about the "Left Coast Writers Fest" which name exists nowhere on the page. I don't get it and I don't particularly want to. I do still resent the waste of time that it represents as there is so much to do, and instead I'm answering emails from people who somehow do not see what is in front of them.

As I've said a lot this past year, no one would believe the kind of stuff we deal with. If I wrote down all the inquiries I've gotten, all the offers and the emails and the requests for information and the offers to provide the keynote address and the workshops for writers and other offers, you'd all say "oh, come now, you're making this up."

I know I over-react every time I get one of these, but I'm tired. I'm tired and I'm stressed. I've got too much to do in too little time. I'm maxing out on my Vicodin every day (that's 8) and I still hurt. In recent days, I've had a new spot where I hurt which in the last two nights has made sleeping a challenge; there's no comfortable position left. My right shoulder is starting to hint loudly that whatever is wrong with the left? It has too and it will probably require the same procedure that the left one probably requires.

I don't have time to, and don't feel it's a good use of my time to have to tell someone that the "Left Coast Writers Fest" is a fiction and why does he think I'm running it since it's not even remotely the name of the event - the event for which he WENT TO THE WEBSITE. The email is from someone who claims to be "just finishing his first novel." Therefore, he should be able to read and process information, yes?

Signed,
Snarky