Things I can manage to come up with 3 days after the convention is over.

The worst thing about running a convention, when you like conventions, is that you really don’t get to see much of the convention. I DID get to the dealer’s room, yes, and I DID get to some programs, but none of the programs I attended were “normal” panel discussions. Given that I was the one that put that stuff together, there really were programs I wanted to attend and I never did. The only programs I got to were a) two that I was on b) the memorial for Barbara, which I both wanted to be at as a friend of hers and felt I should be at as a representative of LCC – the person who DID know both Dennis Lynds and Barbara Seranella and c) Bill Haglund’s presentation. NOTHING was going to get in my way there. But when you invest time in program as I did, you really do try to make it interesting and I really was interested, dammit, in many of the discussions. That sucks.
And I did not manage to get to Laurie’s table in the dealer’s room once. I did not manage really to try to find one thing I wanted in the dealer’s room (I had 2 things I was looking for; one is not out yet, the other probably was not there. And I only managed to buy my shirts from Scott and Jane on Sunday.

I DID meet Bill Haglund and managed not to cry until he was walking away from me, so I did not embarrass myself. The guy’s a huge huge hero of mine, has been for years and his courage and honor make me weepy. Weepy comes especially easy now as I’m still so tired but even at the best of times, I do that so I was really glad I didn’t embarrass either of us.

People can be amazing – in the midst of crisis, some folks still managed to let us know they weren’t attending the convention. How nice is that? I was getting emails almost through the weekend of folks who had to cancel. The one local author who never showed up? No clue and no, I’m not bothering to find out. Of all the things left for me to do, that’s the lowest priority. Word is that this writer is a total flake. I don’t know but I am not pursuing it. Hope nothing’s wrong.

Bunny slippers are THE way to go at a convention. The pink fuzzy ones that Kara and Diane presented to me are SO FREAKIN comfortable that I found them to be the footwear of choice in the bar. They kept my feet warm (foot/hand warmth is often a trial for me in a hotel) and felt so good. I don’t wear uncomfortable shoes, I’m not into “style” especially when it involves looking good but feeling bad BUT it felt like a soft hug when I put them on. AND now that I am home, as they contain flax/lavender inside, I can actually heat them up and put them on.

The big gray and white floppy bunny slippers I bought for the interview I did with Gayle were a major hit. Gayle loved them though I’m still worried about the comment that “the cats will love them” and have to check and see exactly how the cats responded to them when she got them home. Totally a riot sitting there, doing our chat/interview with big huge bunnies on our feet. I gave Helen a pair of bunny slippers on Sunday as a thank you – as I did not know her size, I could not get her the gray/white but found a really cute paiir (little white tail, little pink nose) to present to her as my personal thank you, awarding her the LCC order of the bunny slipper for her amazing amazing work on this convention.

I don’t know how people can work in hotels; I know they don’t stay there, as I did for 5 plus days, but the dryness kills me. Not only does it affect my lips and nose and head, so that I was slathering on lip gloss and it was never enough and I was always having problems but my fingernails, which are a disaster to strat with, were awful and cracked and peeled like mad. I wonder how many hotel staff lave humidifiers at their desks or something.

The second suckiest thing about running a convention is just how much time it takes out of your day. I got there on Tuesday, mind you, and left Sunday and never once got to the hot tub. I never had time for a massage. I seldom got lunch, and one morning did not even get my free wake-up delivery coffee. It was not that I was running around dousing fires. There were just so many things to check to see to, to talk to people about. I could not go 5 feet without someone stopping me – often for good, positive, nice reasons mind you – but no matter what I was going to do, where I was, I never got there in one move.

It seems amazing that in a relatively small crowd, you still don’t see people. There are SO many people I was looking for – to meet, mostly, or to see again. I knew this one – this was not a new thing to learn but I still don’t quite get how you can be around 500 people and miss so many. Especially in a relatively small hotel. I SO wanted to connect with some of the people I’ve gotten to know at least a little by email; Ann Scarborough and Jack Getze, and Rob Kresge among others. And only seeing Louise Ure for a scant minute and not really getting solid time with bunches of other people was as I expected but still…..

There are so many little things to reflect on; how so many volunteers did such great jobs, constantly picking up where I’d dropped the ball, doing all sorts of jobs to make people comfortable and happy and to make things work. I know I’m not even aware of half of them.

There’s lots more but this will end part 1. There are things to tell you about the surprises I had and am still getting, about kindnesses from people (a committee member who handed me a gift every day – how thoughtful is THAT, huh?) and news and facts I want to get out (as soon as we all can, we’ll send out one last update about money raised through the auction and raffle and such.) Meanwhile, I admit to obsessively searching the web and blogs for mention of the convention. Blogpulse helps but I only saw the comments, for example, on rara avis because our friend Craig subscribes and forwarded them. I’m seeing the stuff on DL of course. I’m still so utterly exhausted you cannot imagine.

My week looks thus: Got home Sunday, Stu, as is his wont, unpacks all the suitcases (more than usual due to my desire to wear all sorts of “you haven’t seen her in that outfit before”) stuff (like most folks would know, but still) and I do laundry so I don’t have to look at it. Many other things – about 5 tote bags full, stay full. We send out for Chinese comfort food as there is no way we are to be trusted with hot oven or stove. Monday wake up far too early (I had a wake-up call at the hotel every day at 8 am; as they come with free coffee, I think my body adjusted REALLY quick. It still took close to 2 hours to be able to function. I am not a morning person, not even when it’s pretty critical that I need to be, I just can’t get going and though I mostly slept during the night at the convention, mornings were still hard.)

So get up at 8 Monday, don’t go back to sleep. Sit around drooling, trying to think. Stu stays home, as he was also trying to get some sleep and he mops me every so often. Masseuse Jean comes Monday afternoon – works on me for her usual hour plus, oy. Stu forages for food, killing and bringing home the mighty sub sandwiches. Lunch. Dinner. Yay, mighty Stu!

Tuesday, manage to go out. Check po box. No, there are no last minute membership checks as I had expected. Good. Go to drugstore, refill prescriptions. Go to grocery, buy frozen things and baking potatoes. More comfort food.

Wed. Appointment with doctor, made a couple weeks back to discuss pain management. After my last meet with the orthopedist, who essentially said “I can’t fix any of these things you’re complaining about” the two decisions were that a) yes, a walker would be a good thing for Andi to have and b) pain control is the major focus. As I had increased my intake of my pain pills over January because things where really bad and included a five day bought of serious sciatica (I don’t get it like most people do- this was the first time it lasted over days) it’s time to look at what I’m taking, decide if ti’s right or if it’s time to go to something else. I am content with what I’m taking and it still seems to work. I can still take more than I am taking; my doctor told me some time ago that I can go to 12 pills a day of this stuff. The limitation is NOT the narcotic in the pill, it’s the fucking Tylenol. And no, it does not come without being bonded to Tylenol, which does not work for me and I hate. But the damn Tylenol will damage your liver before the narcotic – hydrocodone in my case – can hurt me. There are many other options, more developed al the time, from other pills (oxycodone) to patches (fentanyl) to other forms of serious medication (methadone and morphine are still options for me and I have no problem thinking about using them. So far, no injectables or patches; I’m worried about patches because my body has a tendency to REACT big time to such things and then that’s it – you can’ never use it again – but some time down the road Iwill try it. I have one friend who is an expert on pain management who wants me on Oxycontin. I keep saying “It’s on the list” but I suspect, having taking oxycodone for a short time a year or two ago, that my body (read stomach) really hates it, so we’ll have to see how to work with that. The “contin” stuff is smart for people like me with chronic conditions as it is time-release which means steady state all day; right now I’m popping pills every three hours or so. The stuff I’m on – Vicodin – has worked for me since – well since I was put on it after a bone biopsy around the time of Bcon in ’94; I’ve gone from 4 to 5 to 6 to 8 to 10 a day. In over 10 years, pretty damn good that it still works, huh? I’ve lived with chronic pain since I was in my 20s and will for the rest of my life. I wish to function. I wish to have a life and right now it takes those 10 Vicodin a day to accomplish that. But I DO function.

Thursday – NOTHING (emptying out rest of tote bags? Tossing out copies of stuff no longer needed (copies only, not originals just in case but some stuff I really don’t need anymore – I really don’t need those banquet forms.) Friday? Lunch with Karyn and Barb at the hotel one last time.

Right now I don’t function exceptionally WELL, of course, in general because it’s winter and the damp and cold are factors. Yesterday, everything conspired against me. Buttons and jar lids, doorknobs and pill bottles. Occasionally they gang up on me and as I said to Stu last night” it was one of those days where my hands felt like flippers. I recently called New Beginnings where I have volunteered since about 1993 or so because the damage to my shoulder – the one I WAS to have surgery on but am NOT having surgery on – means I gotta cut back on the keyboarding. Since as you see, I do a lot of that, though that will ease now that LCC is over, the computer is my lifeline out to the world. I have to stop the data entry and that so saddens me as it was great to contribute, great to hang out in such a wonderful place to work, great to do a job that needed doing but I stopped last summer when the shoulder was really nasty and just simply cannot go back to doing that stuff any more.

But I have stuff to do. I really am looking forward to getting books read and reviewed again; it’s been MONTHS since I was able to concentrate and write a review and I have a stack of books here I would like to write up. And I’m going to be working on an author’s publicity tour starting in a few weeks, helping plan Kerry Greenwood’s first visit to the US. And I hope to nudge my editor at Library Journal for some new assignments, maybe for some interviews with some new authors. It’s going to feel weird for a while, though. Once we wade through the paperwork and the checks and the printouts, and the follow-ups and the thank yous, LCC will be out of my life, Hard to remember what that was like.