A major difference in the way conventions are run now is, pure and simple, the existence of the internet. The accessibility of web pages and communications over the net has made many things easier: providing updates, forms, registration, ballots on-line and downloading hundreds of bios and other contributions to the program book that once would have required retyping, sending advertisements as files - what great useful handy stuff.

The bad part is that everyone can reach you to ask you things. Often irrelevant things. My frustration came when I realized how many people wasted my time because they could not be bothered to read what was available to them.

I understand the confusion over the IDEA of a convention. The “fan convention” as people insist on calling it (it’s a convention, that’s all) does not exist in many areas of our culture. It’s why I wrote “WHAT IS LCC?” which appears as a link on our convention’s main web page. It’s not something people know a lot about. When a writer asked me about the “procedure for applying to participate”, I explain very nicely how it works. When someone asks “when do you start accepting presentation ideas”, I wrote back saying “we’re always glad to hear ideas for program – please see “how to be on program” on our website”.

Alas, I have certain expectations of people . I’m awfully impatient but I do try, I really do, to remind myself that I know things other people don’t, so my job is in part to explain. However, and here’s when I get whiny, I expect that people who are interested in a mystery convention do read. And know HOW to read and pay attention to what they read. I know better, sadly, but I think such expectations are rational.

I’m supposed to be more understanding but, damn, we are book people. We READ. We value the written word. So why is it that when the written word is in front of some folks, they won’t read it?

Since starting work on LCC, I’ve received emails from publicists telling me how their client would be a great speaker at the “conference”. Everyone gets the same response; great, here’s how to join LCC and here’s” HOW TO BE ON PROGRAM” (see our website.) I developed canned emails that explained why we don’t “invite” people to speak, why we don’t “guarantee” anyone’s appearance on program, how we are all volunteers, yackity-yackity-blah blah blah. And still they came.

Many inquiries probably came from what we chez Roscoe call “the Jennifers” and what two writers I know refer to as “the publicity pixies”. It’s a tad mean but it comes from having numerous baffling conversations over the years with assistants in publisher’s publicity departments. These are usually young inexperienced woman (so far) who are trying to do what they’ve been told without necessarily knowing what they’re dealing with. I’ve had the “how do we get books to your convention?” emails and the “our author would be perfect for your conference” emails and I explain, I do, really, and I do it kindly – usually by asking, begging, pleading with them to go to the website and to read “WHAT IS LCC?” and then get back to me with specific questions if that doesn’t help.

I received email from an author offering to be a “keynote speaker”. It’s my understanding that keynote speakers are usually invited honored speakers – they don’t volunteer but I don’t really know. Still, I think it’s chutzpah to offer your talents to someone without trying to ascertain if they even HAVE keynote speakers.

I got emails from two separate publicists saying “Famous Author, whom I represent, is very interested in your convention.” “Great” sez I. “I’m sure folks would be happy to see Famous Author. If you go to this web page, you’ll see how to join the convention, then if you go to that web page, you’ll see my explanation of how to be on program.” And that was the end. Famous Author’s publicist never responded – either time. I suspect I wasn’t excited enough; I bet that I was supposed to get all hot and sweaty and offer all sorts of attention to Famous Author, perhaps as the keynote speaker right there and then. I did not make any special fuss over Famous Author because a) we had our guests of honor already and b) ALL authors ARE EQUAL in this situation. I believe that everyone gets equal consideration – the exceptions being guests of honor. There are NO GUARANTEES even for Famous Authors wanting to be on program. No one jumps the queue.

I got offers for workshops on curing writers’ block. I got “you might be interested in inviting me to be a part of your wonderful event.” Huh? And then they’d come and discuss promotion and publicity to the many writers and would be writers attending the event. Despite my saying “we’re not what you are looking for” and referring to “WHAT IS LCC?” which explains IN detail (all together now) that LCC is not a writer’s conference. But they wouldn’t READ IT. Or they read it but they didn’t LIKE what it told them – I can’t be sure. I got contacted by an intern at a magazine wrote to ask all about the convention. Isn’t it the damn intern’s JOB to look things up? What do interns do – don’t they learn basics? So I got to do HER JOB too.

My favorite had to be the publicist who I believe must work on quota; my theory is that she meets every Friday with her boss to show that she made 39 new contacts that week. How else do you explain a publicist offering us the chance to have an author sign at LCC who was not, was NOT (watch carefully) a writer of crime fiction, mystery fiction, detective fiction, OR related non-fiction. Had no connections whatever to the genre. He is from this area and apparently had made some sort of headlines over a “controversial” YA novel published in the previous year. He had NO connection to the mystery field in any way, but I should have him at LCC to sign books.

Between fending off vendors wanting us to come to British Columbia to play golf, or offering other services that we didn’t want or need, I’m explaining to people that this isn’t is NOT still isn’t a writer’s conference. I get that folks don’t know this. What I don’t get is when they’re Googling around trying to find opportunities, they don’t READ WHAT IS IN FRONT OF THEM first, but simply grab the email address and send off inappropriate emails about how they can help me and my writer’s conference. And when I say “sorry but that’s not the sort of program we’re interested in offering” they argue with me.

When I worked for a city foundation in Massachusetts, a foundation which ONLY SERVED the city it was based in, we got requests for foundation funding from everyone imaginable: from the farmer in the Midwest who wanted us (really honest) to help pay for his wife’s alternative cancer treatment in Mexico (remember laetrile?) to the southern bible college that wanted us to buy them a computer system. That latter letter was returned, copy edited, as it had 4 typos and 8 grammatical errors. I understand desperation but THIS SHOULD BE A CUT ABOVE THAT. At some point, people need to comprehend that wasting someone’s time Is inconsiderate. That being lazy and not getting basics and writing email saying “I was at your web site, when is the convention?” shows a lack of consideration. And that wastes someone else’s time. It’s not nice.

Stu tells me it’s all part of the “It can’t hurt to ask” attitude. BUT dammit, after a while, It CAN HURT. I’m being petty but wasting someone’s time, asking something that is explained clearly if you would only READ is time-consuming for the person who has to answer. Wasting someone’s time is inconsiderate and it gets harder as the event closes in on you, when you’re dealing with deadlines, and trying to get Real Things Done. What’s that line about your lack of planning constituting MY emergency?

And what is the necessity too of having to see the program on the website weeks out? Now look, if anyone values program at a con, I do, right? It’s the heart of the event for me. But six weeks out, why do you have to know what panel is at 11 am on Friday? I found myself trying to explain “you know, 10 years ago, people joined conventions without ever knowing the program in advance.” And sure, I think posting the program I advance is a courtesy and encourage it, but when someone essentially informed me I needed to post it, when it was not ready to be made public, that bugged me. WHY? If you don’t like it will you cancel? Do you really need to plan your day that far in advance?

But I digress (I do that a LOT lately!!!)

You know, don’t you, I’m not done talking about all the positive stuff. I mean you DO understand that these examples are one 20th, one 50th, one gazillionth of the emails I got and I’m going on at length because it’s so odd to me that folks can’t get it. Most people get it and are reasonable, helpful, self-motivated. If they don’t understand they ask and they accept the answer. They understand that volunteers have somewhat limited time and they are gracious about time delays and know that we don’t always know something. But the slow cumulative drip drip effect of emails asking something that could easily be found on our website, or that at times was beyond reasonable, well, one is okay, ten starts to get annoying (especially in the last days) and thirty or fifty are ridiculous. It’s the same twitch I feel when someone on DorothyL asks a question which is VERY SIMPLY answered by using Google or another search engine, but instead, ends up with someone ELSE doing the work. It’s not courteous and it baffles me that it seems to be pretty common behavior. More than I would have expected and it just bugged me enough to want to tell you about it.