I don’t think fiction writers need to only “write what they know” because that means, well, for one thing, that science fiction and fantasy would not exist. I’ve read wonderful books set in alien lands as well as in foreign countries, and even when I read books set in places I know, among people I’m familiar with, often it’s different, it’s new and it’s creative. So don’t think for a second I want to limit writers to only that which they know.

The best of them (you, us?) combine what they know with imagination or look stuff up, ask around, research it and present it in a new way. Gods know that the internet has probably made lots of that easy, although not necessarily RIGHT all the time. I reviewed a fantasy a while back where clearly the author, who does not live in my city, had done some homework ABOUT my city. Right up until the end where BLAT, because of something I knew very well, the story faltered.

We can sympathize with Ed McBain and Sue Grafon and their sort-of fictional cities because it avoids he picking of nits. That’s FINE. But DAMMIT. What is not fine is when you offer me a book that is STUPID.

When I get a book where the characters are DUMB, I don’t want to read it. And I’m not saying they’re ill-educated or unsophisticated. Nope. They are dumb because they live somewhere and have managed to learn NOThING about the people or the place. They live among a group of people who are a certain um, well, say nationality or religion or faith or gender or color or belief system and the author manages to show us that they’ve ACTUALLY been living in a dark underground lair or have been frozen for the last 100 years and have no idea who they are, where they live or what’s going on. They apparently have never gone anywhere in their city, and have never talked to a single resident.

On Monday I got six books to review. Alas, three of them were epic fantasy and I am so sorry but I REALLY FUCKING HATE epic fantasy. It’s apparently very big now. I don’t want to read it.

Another book I got was the HC of the ARC I’d already tried to read and just couldn’t. This is the 3d book by the same author and we just aren’t going to get it are we? Another was by an author I used to read but don’t anymore. That left one. And I tried, I really did. But JESUS, it was too stupid to live.

It is from a major publisher. It is a first novel. I lasted about 50 page but kept opening it and trying, thinking, well mostly that I was in a damn pissy mood and I shouldn’t take it out on the book. So I got to about page 96 and then just had to give it UP.

If, say, you don’t live in Southie but you want to set your book in South Boston, you might want to do some work looking into the neighborhood, reading up on its history, learning that it’s where lots of Irish Catholic Bostonians live and what that means. If you set a book in Miami, I’d think you would want to understand the anti-Castro movemen, and South Beach and who lives there, what it's like. If you set your book on a reservation, you’ll want to read up, go to their website. You will NOT assume all Pueblo dwellers are the same. You won’t assume they use teepees, or braid their hair, or ride horses. WILL YOU? All Indians aren’t alike, right?

I know you know this (all MY friends and readers are incredibly intelligent, right? Of course.)

If you’re going to set a novel in Provincetown, you might want to get a little knowledge under your belt. You don’t have to know everything about gays and lesbians, but you might want to know something. Given that P-town is a major hangout for the G/L community, especially in summer, you might want to show a little awareness. (apparently even when we were going to the Cape when I was like 8 this was true, but I was not very aware.) If you are writing a cop novel, your COPS should know what it means to be gay or lesbian. Your cops should understand about the behavior of gay men and women. Right? You’re all nodding going well, YUH.

It was annoying as heck to read a major plot point where someone who could not possibly have hidden his behavior was a closet drag queen. I could not believe that this person would not have been outed YEARS ago, given that the character was a rabid anti-gay public figure. It seemed hugely unlikely – not that he couldn’t be into drag, but that it would be allowed to be secret. Lots of people can keep secrets, but most people who trash a community tend to be “outed”. But that wasn’t what stopped me. It was when a cop went “undercover” one night. He apparently just put on a bunch of women’s clothing (that fit him, who knows where he found it) and with no advice from anyone, no help and no briefing, he’d found it all including size 11 heels). Okay, first of all, there seemed to be quite a bit of confusion in the book – equating cross-dressing and being a transvestite with being gay.

This cop apparently didn’t know where the gay bars were, nor what they offered. In his skirt and blouse, wig and makeup (he’s a guy and straight but no one apparently had to teach him how to put on blush and mascara either) and went, solo, without his partner into a bar. And the bar he walks into has no one in drag. It’s called “The Vault” and has a “heavy-leather-trimmed door.” Still no clues. And when the bouncer stops him, he does NOT comprehend. He has NO frigging IDEA that there is such a thing as a LEATHER BAR. He is a Provincetown COP and he is “nonplussed” to learn that “there might be places I the gay universe where cross-dressers weren’t welcome.”

It was at this point that I closed the book.