While I love the ease of finding products on the net, I think we’ve been badly served and often cheated by morons when we (okay when I) assume that those who create companies actually know what they are doing. I actually assume that when you provide a product you’ve hired people who have some experience or ability to LEARN stuff like how to answer questions, and how to fix problems, how to talk to customers. And so forth.

I learned how wrong I was a few years back when I developed my theory that too many 14 year olds thought they were in business and considered themselves skilled businessmen. I bought a used cell phone. I received it. I tried to charge it and nothing happened. When I wrote to tell the seller this, I got “oh, sorry”. And nothing more until I screeched at him to FIX the FUCKING PROBLEM which it seems would not have occurred to him. Then, some weeks later, the newly charged phone started to make noises one afternoon and I learned that the #$%@$^%(* moron had not cleared the damn cell phone’s reminder/calendar feature and I had to go through it and delete reminders of some stranger’s life. And when I wrote to complain I got “oh, sorry.” And when I said THAT IS NOT ENOUGH, got back “well, gee, I dunno. What do you want me to do?”

Some time ago, I bought a three pack of computer games, by downloading them. One worked fine. One worked but it was sort of “jumpy” and I wanted that to be fixed. One didn’t work right at all so I wrote and said “why is it doing this and what can you do to fix it?”

After waiting TWO WEEKS – yeah, really – I wrote again. This time I said I wanted money back for SURE for one game and probably for a second. The only way I could do that, iw as told was to somehow go and BUY THEM AGAIN, and then get the money refunded. Or some such crock of shit. Because tha was how paypal worked. Well, no, actually, you can send ANY frigging amount on Paypal and that was ridiculous.

But I am a real sucker for games. So I tried an end run and tried to buy another game – one that was CREATED by the first guys – from another site. Except here TOO, there was a screen that didn’t work. And I wanted to get that fixed (I knew how it was SUPPOSED to work from having played it on line) before spending the money. And I got back “we don’t give game hints here”. I explained that was NOT what I needed, I knew how that step worked but the buttons weren’t responding the way I knew they should. Sorry, you have to ask the game makers. Oh COME ON, I said. It took you NINE days to tell me THAT? “We’re more of a fan site for the game” they replied, not really the game support people. (even though that was the email available for someone with a QUESTION about the flaming game.)

So once more I am tempted to buy a game because a new version is out and I like the old version a lot. BUT, when I download the trial version it does not work. Essentially I get a white screen with no artwork on it. If I continue, I get some artwork but not what it is supposed to look like. I write to ask why this is happening. I dump it and download it again. Same thing.

I get it suggested that I get it off the computer, reboot, reload and try it again. Well, I thought I’d done that by trashing it but ok. I do. No difference. The game will not come up correctly, and I can’t play it. I’m not going to BUY it without seeing it work and seeing what’s new about this new version. Right? I’m not so stupid.

And then comes the prize suggestion of all time. Mind you, there are 60 minutes given me to play this game. I’m down to about 21 because it’s loaded 3 times and still does not work. And the customer support person writes saying

“If you would like, you can purchase it and see if it works. If it still doesn't I'll either refund your money or swap it out for another game.”

You got that? They can’t suggest what’s wrong. They can’t fix it and I can’t download a working version of the game to try. Their suggestion is to BUY THE GAME.