Some weeks back, when I had joined Freecycle, there was a guy who wanted something I offered. And he didn't come get it and he didn't come get it and he didn't come get it. After about 3 tries at pinning him down, I wrote and said "it's no longer available" and offered it to the next person "in line" (Freecycle has no rules - if 17 people ask fir it, you get to offer it to person #1, or #6 or #17, or not at all. I often give kid stuff to folks who say their kids will like it, or who are just more polite. I tend not to offer stuff to someone who writes simply "what is your address?" as if they are entitled.

This guy showed up a day after I'd written to say "you're off the list" demanding the item. He was very angry when I said "you don't get it, and you don't get to just show up on my doorstep unannounced". He threatened to have me tossed off Freecycle for this. (I saved all the emails, both from and to. I have since started using "return receipt" as I've had other stuff go awry.

I was more than a little upset about this dude, and notified the listowners who advised me that should I at any time feel threatened, that they would provide info to the cops and that I should call the cops if I thought it was needed. I've not heard from this guy since. I will say that I did run a google search on him and found something hugely creepy - that he had signed up for what would appear to beevery single solitary "meet-up" group in the area. that is to say he'd signed up for everything from Slavic languages, to Thai cuisine to lesbian literature from Howard Dean supporters to pole vault enthusiasts. Those unfamiliar with "meet-up" its a social networking thingy which got its start from the Dean campaign, I think. Folks get to find other folks with mutual interests. No one signs up for 87 of them - every language, every form of music, food, politics, spirituality. The google search pulled up over 50 pages, no joke, each of them a different "meet-up topic". Paintball, figure drawing, comic books, children's rights, archery, rockabilly, the list is pretty tiresomely endless, that this guy signed up for. Sad to the point of making me almost sorry for him. But by coming over without emailing or calling to check? That seems well, in my book, it's rude. No idea if he's still on Freecycle but i've saved all the emails and he will never get anything from me, even if he's the only one wanting it. i susect me might have been kicked off the list but dn't knowl.

That was creepy.

Last week, as I've mentioned, we had a "Yes we can " Obama speech party under the auspices of Moveon.org. Thursday night, August 28, 20 people were in the house for a couple hours. After they left, leaving behind all forms of food, and flowers (yeah, wasn't that sweet???) I discovered a book and a shirt. I sent out a quick email and learned that the book was intended as a gift/pass-along (It's Obama's LESSONS FROM MY FATHER, his first, and quite interesting) and the short belonged to "M" as we shall call him. So he said "when might I come get it?" and I suggested a bunch of dates and times and asked him to pick something. Over the long weekend, I assumed he'd be by.

On Tuesday, I emailed him again. Then again on Thursday because, you know, this is getting absurd. I spent a lot of energy and effort hosting the event, i don't want to be dealing with someone's shirt a week afterwards, you know? I had spent over $30 on food, had felt the impact for 2 days, and I just wanted this little last thing done with. It's just one of those things, you know? I had errands to run, I was starting to suspect I was getting sick, wanted to get to the wheelchair place to get something adjusted, you name it. I don't sit around every day. There are days when I'm home all day, yes, but even then, i sometimes nap, or run out just at the last minute. Whatever. I'm not on the couch eating bonbons and waiting for anyone who wishes to stop by to do so. I do have a form of life.

Last night, at 9 pm came a knock on our door. It was "M" stopping by to get his property. He had not emailed to say he was coming over. we did not have the porch light on. We were, in fact having dinner (we do eat late but so what? Our business.) And both Stu and I are dealing with small colds/bugs. And this guy comes out of the blue to get his shirt. And idiot that I am,
i opened the door and let him in.

And was pretty impolite but not as much as I feel he deserved. Where did he get the idea that it was okay to "stop by"???? i'd made it clear i wanted to know when he was coming over. We were not friends. I had a plate in my hands from the microwave, my hands were greasy and I'd been sniffling and sneezing. And he didn't seem to get it. He certainly did not, that I can remember use the phrase "I'm sorry to barge in on you like this". He did thank me again for the very special evening but you know what? I didn't care. He could have done that by email and I wanted to eat my corn while it was hot. I essentially gestured to the shirt, said "we're having dinner and we're both sick, you need to go" and it didn't seem to register on him at all that he'd been impolite.

What the fuck?

But there we have reason #26 that I won't be doing another one of these parties again (reasons 1 - 25 mostly have to do with how annoying Moveon.org is and how exhausted I was. How they did some things to death and other things did not occur to them. But the last reason was "person stops by one week afer the event without calling first to ask and appears to want to hang out."

Do you have different rules? Do you think there ARE different rules nowadays? I mean there sure are in some cases (cell phone conversations on the bus/in the coffee place come to mind) but people coming over to your house without advance warning or permission? Is that something you've encountered? (We did once have some friends who did that a few times and i never figured out how to tell them that it wasn't okay. But that's another topic.)