An explanation of why you should, oh, I dunno, thank your committee members, thank everyone you've ever know who's done any work on a convention. It's like theater, or television, or a concert. The amount of work that every job takes - you never see. Think icebergs.
So here's why trying to be sure we get all 400-plus biographical thunbnails AND photos into the program book is taking so damn long and is so damn hard and why I am so damn frazzled. And no, this is not a subtle hint for you to tell me how grand I am. I swear. Though i have at least one email that, well, i wish I could get it to pop open every 10 minutes, as the equivalent of my system doing the wave.

Write up and send out email to 400 plus people. I wrote it but did not send it. That was one of 1837 jobs that the godlike convention chair Rae is doing. I just wrote the letter. Said letter included careful language stating that ALL BIOS would have to be limited to 100 words.
Wait for responses. Good response folks! Great. Mostly.
Try to open special mail program we have set up for Bouchercon 2010. Two hits out of three it opens. Third time out of three it sits there, mocking me.
Open first document. Realize "uh-oh, i don't know nuttin about birthing photos." Call for help. Get help from the amazing BG who seems to like doing exactly what I hate diong. YAYYYY BEEG!

Ok. Open first email. FABOO! It's got a bio. And a photo. Oh wait, they are attachments. Open attachment. computer explains that stuffit has crashed. Open another way. Why LOOK! There's a bio. Open word processing document. Put in name in BOLD CAPS and cut and paste first bio. Why look! Etc. Select all, go to menu and change it to a standard font so I can read it Ten point Times roman not readable. SAVE.

Send on to BG, even if there are no changes, who will deal wiht the attached/embedded photos.

Read EVERY SINGLE PRECIOUS WORD OF EVERY BIO, even if they are well below 100 words to ensure every bio makes sense. Most do. Many do not. Words have dropped out. ('ve done this - learned this before most recently when the SF Museum opened and there were gremlins eating words out of the bios of the advisory board. Nasty evil rude gremlins. Munch, munch, chomp. There is more more to the theater than that repetition. Bios that are identical to flap copy arrive, referring to said book. But...Someone types like i do, and the wrong word takes over from the fingers so that you get "she was lived" rather than "she has lived" and spell check doesn't.

Read every bio OUT LOUD so you can use an extra sense to proofread. Remove all extraneous quotation marks at beginning and end.

Lather, rinse.
Get first email that special mail program set up for Bcon can't open. Go back to inbox and mark it as "unread" til I can figure out why. Open next, cut paste into word document. Why look! It's 132 words long! Sigh. Cut. Then cut and paste. Send to Beeg.
Lather rinse.

Realize 50 bios in, that tracking what was sent isn't easy. Not every email identifies everyone. Some share. Some use stuff like "roscoe" some use first name, pen name. Ah! Decide that every time you "send to BG" you mark bio with an asterisk *ANDI SHECHTER so you know she got it. Write this down on document so you don't forget what the * is for.
SAVE.

Breathe. Do something else. come back. Talk with Rae and realize there is no understanding the very special mail program. Go back to the Unreadables and ask them to resend to personal email. (requires of course opening THAT spreadsheet with the email addresses since I don't have that one open, and no, i can't access it with the VSMP.

Lather rinse.
Try to send stuff to BG with one mail program. Photos won't load. Threaten computer with death. Stu suggests way to fix which works in seconds. Open SECOND program because first one can't seem to send photos. Learn this by leaving a photo loading to send and returning a half hour later to find it never loaded. Cut paste and send to Beeg.

Check VSMP and personal mail. Find emails from folks sending photos only or bios only "to make things easier" It doesn't. With over 400 of these, the chances that the two will be separated at Grand Central station and end up on two different trains is too great.

Breathe. Open email. Find biography that is 312 words long.

Beeg reports that some photos aren't coming through. Send a different way.

Open email. Read request for information that has nothing to do with my job. As noted on emails went out "please do not ask about the program/panels". Get questions about registration, or for confirmation of something. Reply or forward. Write back and forth to Janine at Registration and Rae. Giggle. In perhaps just the smallest and snarkiest of ways.

Open email. Read request to edit already-received and processed bio because sender just read it and realized name was wrong, title was wrong, word was wrong, comma was wrong.

Write snarky email. Delete. Write email to sender of 186 word bio. Ask politely if s/he ever saw the original email (or if they are a publicist who was just told "send my bio") and if not does s/he want it, but we need 100 words ONLY.

Receive amended/corrected bio. Cheer. go to open file. File won't open.

Take pills. Go read book(s). Whimper. Come back. Open email.

Lather.