I've thought about this blog post a lot because I have very mixed feelings about my adventures in Worldcon this year. I've already written about Reno and how badly I reacted to it. I do not want to come across as whiny and it's, what, human nature? To remember the bad, no matter how much good I bring into the conversation.

I also have misgivings because I know that if I comment on something, it will be taken personally, as criticism. Again, human nature? My nature? Because I tend to do that everyone does? No, not really. But it happens. A lot. Someone will say "I didn't expect this to be this way" and it ends up having more weight than that. That's really a simple statement, an observation. And yet many of us (me) would run to say "well, but that's the way it is" or "We've done it that way for years". The underlying "what's your problem?" can be heard pretty clearly. Or maybe I'm over-thinking this. But I don't wanna get into arguments or discussions over stuff. I don't wanna insult people. I want to offer some observations about Worldcon that might tick people off. It's been 15 years since I went to Worldcon in LA. in that time, I've spent a lot of time at mystery conventions. I've chaired two of those and worked on, or run program on five or six. I've landed on SSDI disability and in a power wheelchair. I've been blogging for several years, reviewing for several years plus, and discovered Facebook. Lots has changed and Worldcon has moved on without me. So I'm going to try to talk about it and will say up front that I hope you're not offended. There were things that I think might have gone better. There are things that are the way they are and so be it. I just don't wanna write, with every sentence, a distancing "I know but" or to say "this is just my opinion". Of course it is. That's what folks do on blogs. So, gulp, here goes.

The without-question best thing about attending Worldcon this year was the reconnecting/connecting part. I not only saw friends I have not seen in years and years, but at times, saw friends I haven't seen in even longer. And messed up at times trying to reconnect with them. People I recognized after years and years. People I expected to see. People I've known for years but have never had a real honesttogods conversation with. There were several opportunities to get together with people for which I am very grateful. That the restaurants were good was a huge plus. I mean having dinner with friends, especially after a long time, is about the friends. But good food was nice. Prices were very reasonable and there were some memorable dishes. Cool, very cool. I mean it's a gambling town and that often means "cheap food". but i don't like buffets and we were there to hang out, not to eat lots of cheap shrimp cocktails. (I would not have minded but buffets are a drag and a half for me.) I can't see stuff, can't reach, Stu has to do all the work. Feh. I understood there were lots of restaurants at the hotel; there was "emergency" food in the convention center. What was important was sitting down with friends and having tine together. That was splendid. Sure, I would have liked to try the Basque place or a number of the places outside. No big deal. The company was way more important.

I was on three programs and apologies to Laurie and Jim and Ian because I blew one off. On Sunday, there simply was not time to do what needed doing before we left. I have never done that in my life. But, one thing that has not changed about sf con program, especially Worldcon program, is that it's massive, it covers everything and then some, and that there's not a lot of pre-con communication. BROAD GENERALIZATION HEREModerators don't bother getting in touch with their panelists. We get program assignments anf often that's it until you show up at the room. Many folks see the Green Room as a snack shop, and don't use it for its true purpose. I've never understood this. I think it's cavalier. i think program participants owe it to their audience to be ready. Mystery con program is so so so the other side - over-prepared. But it matters. To me at least. Getting to Reno and reading the description of one panel and realizing I had never seen the third line of the description and knew little/nothing about that....

I guess folks know that people will come to program no matter what. I guess it works and moderators are prepared even if we don't know that in advance. It makes me uncomfortable. I don't know what we'll be talking about and it helps to think about it just in case. There were so many tracks - another thing about Worldcon that I am guessing is an absolute given - that well, I guess doing a huge amount of prep and then getting so few people in the audience might make one hesitate. Worldcon tries to be all things to all people. I still think that we don't need that many tracks of program for that many people. [Here's where i remind folks that I really am just expressing an opinion.) Adjusting the panel's focus at the last minute can work, but I tend to believe you owe the audience more prep than we do. I know it works this way.

Something I never expected, and no one apparently anticipated was that the only way to the "party floors" at the Atlantis, at least if you use a wheelchair, was to ride those "glass" or open elevators. I learned ages ago that I cannot ride those elevators. And no, please don't suggest I close my eyes or face the door. If that worked, I wouldn't be saying "I can't ride them". I can't. I am apparently phobic about them. I have issues with heights anyway (or as my friend Bill said years ago, it's not heights, it's the edges). Those who might otherwise have this problem could apparently, take "regular" elevators and walk down a floor. When I realized that i was facing this issue, I spoke with front desk staff at the hotel who were very friendly and suggested that they, or I, could contact the security staff about being escorted via the internal freight elevator. This is often an option. I never used it. I didn't have the energy to deal with it and felt awkward as hell about being, apparently, the only person at Worldcon, or the only guest at the Atlantis for whom this was an issue. i stand out enough and I am not happy about it. I was worried about what might happen if I wanted to leave; how long would it take for security to show up? Every bid party, open party, et cetera party, was on those few Atlantis floors. We had not realized it as we had a room on a lower floor at the hotel and the glass elevators hadn't even registered on our consciousness until we realized the (inaccurate) signs pointed to those things. Damn.

I have no idea if it would have worked. I never attended a single party. I just could not deal. those of you familiar with wheelchairs, disability, scooters, canes are all already know how often they're an issue in your daily life. Forty-four scooters were rented for Renovation for folks to get around the massive convention center and the ridiculously long skybridge and the casino and the "fun center" and at times, the road to the Peppermill." i was told that they could have used at least 20 more.

I've ranted about the noise and lights and music that invaded every moment. All the restaurants were too loud; that might have been because they were very busy but it was hard to talk to friends across the table.

There were some puzzling decisions - I know very well about convention budgets and the ridiculous amounts hotels charge for some stuff. But being met in Hospitality with a rather abrupt person who, when I asked about the coffee, and it was pointed out to me (I'd waited a few minutes for someone to come out from behind a curtain) I made it clear I knew that was the coffee and was there more? No. That was it for the day. It's very expensive. When I tried the Green Room, folks there were far nicer but the answer was the same. And they lacked even hot water for tea. I deal with "hotel voice" even when I'm not in a dry climate. Worldcon folks were utterly fantastic about educating attendees about altitude and how to deal with it. There was water everywhere and it was hugely welcome. I lose my voice in every hotel within 3 hours because of the dryness. Therefore, trying to speak on a program item means I need something hot. I was looking for caffeine. Friendly would have been nice. I did not mean to put anyone on their guard, but hospitality folks who get defensive because it's 10 in the morning and they're out of coffee? Um, gosh guys. I tend to try to budget for stuff like that, outrageous though it is. The espresso stand at the Atlantis made very good espresso. I relied on it for the rest of the convention.

If the convention center has a wheelchair lift to get a wheelchair user up to the stage, be sure you know how it works. Try it. Make the maintenance or house staff show it to you. Make sure it's on the proper side of the stage. Again, I appreciate that con staff talked to me at length about my wheelchair and the dais and the lift. However, when it came time to use it, there was no one there to run the thing for us and, as it turns out, it had been placed on the wrong side of the platform and would not have allowed me to get up there anyway. This was never a huge issue. However, if you and the people whorking for/with you go to all that trouble, it should work, no? Again, I feel awkward about this as it felt like I was the only person affected by this out of the several thousand who attended. It never occured to me that we'd have problems.

And again, gulp. when you know someone in a wheelchair is coming to an event and you repeatedly tell that person "we'll be ready for you" please be ready. It's a hugely easy thing to remove a folkding chair from an aisle and mark the chair next to it "reserved". Sorry but it is.

The hotel's "ADA" room, the wheelchair accessible room at the Atlantis I'd grade a "B-". Now again, this has nothing to do with con staff. They checked out the facilities. The Atlantis is completely within the law. They are most assuredly ADA-compliant. I am not familiar enough with the issues of smoking/non-smoking so I can't speak to that but the issues of physical access (with the exception of those elevators) were dealt with in a pretty okay way. There was one place where the hotel should have painted something so the stairs/ramp differentiation was more visible. But...

Here endeth my first post about Worldcon. I will talk in my next post about ADA-compliant and what you must do and gosh, gee, golly, wouldn't it be nice if you would do. Maybe you'll find that amusing. Think about this, while you wait. If you use a wheelchair and cannot reach up high, how do you open the curtains in your hotel room (especially those beyond the table/chair) and how do you reach the ice bucket?

Lots more about exhibits and the Fan Lounge and the Dealers room and stuff in Part Two. Promise.