It's raining.

Ya know how some days are great rainy days and others are not-so-great rainy days? Rainy days are, to me, good for only a couple things: 1) curling up with a cup of coffee/tea and a good book, or 2) going for a nice long walk (the rain must be accompanied by warm weather for this to be my top choice). Well, neither of those is happening today. I'm at work, attempting to be productive. It isn't happening. Yeah, which explains why I'm currently writing in my journal...which, if you read my first journal entry you'll know it is not something that I'm even comfortable doing. Go figure.

I realize that this is really an individual difference...I bet that some people are really productive on rainy days. I'm just not one of them. It seems that I can do nothing but stare out my window. I've spent a little time staring at my computer screen but the whole time my mind is on the rain outside my window. I may as well go home, but that would be admitting defeat...which I'm not ready to do. Yet.

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T and I watched a movie last night. I am tempted to say a "great" movie, but I'm not certain that I can describe it as "great." Thought provoking? Absolutely. Humorous? In parts. Anxiety-producing? Yes. Discomfiting? Definitely. The movie was Crash and left us both with heavy hearts. Almost a bit of shame for being a part of this humanity - or inhumanity that is today's American society. And the thing is, neither of us are racist. Or we don't *think* that we are racist. heavy sigh. I was talking today with one of my students about the movie. He said that even though many of us don't think we are prejudiced, we all have these stereotypes in our heads. Stereotypes of each race. Stereotypes of each gender. Stereotypes of each religion. Stereotypes of how we're supposed to act. Stereotypes of how "they" are supposed to act. And these stereotypes influence how we treat each other....even though we don't want them to. I have to agree with him. And that makes me sad.

I don't know how to get past this feeling and I don't know what to do about not getting past it.

I've changed my mind about it. On second thought, I would describe this movie as great. Entertaining? No. I do highly recommend watching this movie. It'll leave you feeling differently than you felt prior to viewing it. I'm not certain that you'll feel better, but I urge you to watch it anyway.

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It is a good thing that I live on the 'dry' side of the state. Heaven forbid I should deal with this on more than once every few months. How do people handle it? Don't tell me. We adapt, right? Yeah, I knew that.

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Okay, now I'm going home.

-holls-

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Soundtrack: rain on my windowpane