UPDATE: I've now set up, as per various commentors suggestion, a paypal link (see above or click here) for donations to help me pay for Clarion. Have I mentioned "eternal gratitude" yet? (-:

Well, I got a last-minute, short-term loan offer from an unexpected (and for obvious reasons, anonymous) source, and--it's still going to be a very, very tight squeeze (donations are *sorely* appreciated)--but I just called Neile Graham at Clarion West to say "yes." I'm going to Seattle, baby!

It's still going to be tough to pay for a train, bus or plane ticket to Seattle and back, and I'll have zero spending money while I'm there, and the loan sources can't really afford it any more than I can, so I am going to try to do the on-line fundraising thing. Still, it's definitely worth it.

I feel like if the stars align this much in one's favor--being one of the 18 people let in out of a huge applicant pool of people dreaming about being able to do this, having an offer that would let me do this--it's just not kosher to turn one's back on the smiling gods of fortune and say, "sorry, man, I'm holding out for 100% security that nothing will go wrong." Yeah, I'm mixing metaphors like crazy, I'm aware of that.

This whole week--and this is probably very strange to understand from the perspective of non-writers and other rational human beings to whom the whole thing probably seems financially irresponsible, crazy and over something relatively inconsequential--I've been going through this whole agony-ectasy-agony thing over if/how I was going to be able to do this. There's still loads of financial background anxiety, but good god, man, I'm going to Seattle! Just having finally made the decision and the phone call, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

I know what your thinking--"huge weight lifted from your shoulders? You're a crappy enough writer you can't think of a less cliched metaphor than *that* and they let you into Clarion?!?"--but give me a break. I'm excited. This is a Good Thing.