...and a pretty religious Jew, at that.

Amazingly, as obvious as the conclusion is to me, no one else seems to have put two and two together.

(5) Judging by his weight and physical appearance, the man clearly subsists on nothing but high-fat, high-carb deli food.

(4) Look at that bushy white beard! Hell, not only is he Jewish, he's probably Chassidic. As anyone who's ever been in a campus Chabad House knows, Santa looks just like the Lubavitcher Rebbe (the guy in the picture, above.)

(3) Not only does he have a bushy white beard, but he keeps his head covered at all times with that silly hat.

(2) Christmas is associated with the preparation of Christmas hams and all sorts of non-kosher foods, but people only leave out milk and cookies for him to eat. He's the star of the show. Don't you think people would be willing to leave him the better food if he was willing to eat it?

(1) He's willing to work on Christmas.