Today Big Smooth and I went to Wrigleyville to do a story on local vendors on the eve of the Cubs opener. I was his bitch--that is, I lugged nearly eighty pounds of camera, tripod, tape and batteries wherever he wanted to go. The previous day he served his time as my bitch, chasing after city council aldermen with me and shooting high-quality footage at a moment's notice with two hours worth of training on the camera.

I set up for his standup across the street from Wrigley Field. Big Smooth is tall. I raised the tripod and camera to fit his height, only to find that I could not see into the viewfinder no matter how far down I craned it. Like many times in my life, I was face to face with the reality that I am simply too short. (Images flashed of the heartache I endured at having been denied a ride on roller coasters because I was too many inches shy of the height requirement.)

I had a brief tantrum and raised my head to the sky denouncing all of the height discrimination rampant in our society. They just don't make things for munchkins--who are not one in a million. (Instead, they market everything for tall men and women with figures like hipless twelve year-olds--a ridiculously small portion of the population.)

When I was done stomping my feet, I snuck into the bar on the corner where several burly construction workers toiled inside to prepare the establishment for the onslaught of Cubs fanatics that is sure to move in tomorrow. With a humbled voice and a defeated tone, I asked if they could spare a step stool or a soap box. One of the guys was nice enough to go through some minor trouble to get me a cement bucket.

So in full view of the public, I stood atop an overturned bucket to shoot Big Smooth's standup. It went swimmingly. My professor had actually recommended earlier that I tote around a milk crate when I interview people, because all of my taped interviews feature people looking down...trying to talk to me as I reach up and hold a stick mic in their faces.

I am special.

Be sure to turn on WYCC channel 20 tomorrow night at 6:30 CST!!! I'm gonna try my hand at anchoring in front of a potential audience of three million...