The State Senate Majority Leader's missing anorexic grandaughter has returned home, there is beer spilled all over the thruway and it's hot as balls outside.

I just summed up all of today's news.

No need to go outside and see for yourself!

But seriously, this heat is killer. It is the hottest it has been in the Northeast since, well, forever. And it ain't the heat that'll kill ya, it's the humidity. Within three seconds of stepping outdoors yesterday, I sweat off whatever my proverbial balls I might have had.

Ironically, people around here are comparing the impact of such a weather extreme to the freak October snowstorm of 1987.

I remember that unseasonal dumping brought what I thought were good things--no school for a week, for one. Of course, I was in kindergarten that year and school was technically still fun. But now, in my line of work, there is no such thing as a snow day or an intense heat day. Now, extreme weather blows...pun intended.

The governor of this great state is very into saving energy and the environment. Bless his heart, he's good at that (other things he does are certainly questionable). But why does he have to have eight thousand availabilities OUTSIDE on the hottest freaking days in the history of the region?

Maybe because the heat is the only thing that actually makes politicians sweat around here. It was pretty amusing to see them all lined up outside, wearing full suits...their heads resembling melting popsicles.