Buffalo Gal

Too small to swat. Too stupid to realize that repellant means to stay away. I believe gnats are solely responsible for for the particularly Southern dementia we used to think of as the result of rural inbreeding.
In contrast to their sand gnat/no-see-um cousins, the mosquito is almost a noble beast, allowing you the half second between landing and biting for a fair fight. You can't splat a gnat.
Gnats alight unaware until they secrete a poison that begins to burn. For lucky folks it just means welts and swelling. For the allergic type (moi) it's somewhere between a sick, miserable day on the couch and an ER run.
In "A Man in Full" Thomas Wolfe points out the gnat line is north of the coastal plain. Gnat headquarters is South Georgia (although the Chamber of Commerce has wisely not invested in bumper stickers to that effect). Gnats like it just like we do, warm and comfortable with only a slight breeze. Too cold, too much heat, too much wind and they return to Gnat Headquarters planning the next siege.
So it's long pants and long sleeves in tank top weather, treating the inside band of your mandatory hat with "Swamp Buddy" and slathering Skin So Soft on any exposed surface. I am not convinced they are particuarly repelled by the Avon product, but if you apply enough of it it's like landing them in an oil slick and you have a decent chance drowning them before they release their poison.
You learn to speak sparesely and breathe shallow in their swarming presence. Kamikazes they are, being inhaled or ingested seems to be an honored end. I caught one in my eye this weekend and it was like having a small pit of floating fire under my eyelid.
Having spent 13 years in Texas, I can say with painful authority that these guys make Fire Ants look like baby chickies. Fire ants get fired up when you mess with their territory, gnats come at you where you live.
Or at least where I used to live. Our house is for sale (www.154rosemont.com). If you know anyone interested in a lovely home on historic St. Simons Island, the gnats here aren't bad at all.
You know how we Yankees whine.

Copyright 2004 Judi Griggs

Buffalo Gal Judi Griggs I'm a communications professional, writer, cynic, mother, wife and royal pain. The order depends on the day. I returned to my hometown in November 2004 after a couple of decades of heat and hurricanes. I can polish pristine copy, but not here. This is my morning exercise -- 20-minute takes without a net or spellcheck. It's easier than sit ups for me. No guarantee what it will be for you. Clicking on the subscribe link will send you an email notice when each new entry is posted.
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Previous Entry :: Next Entry Read/Post Comments (0) Share on Facebook		2004-03-30 9:59 AM Gnats don't splat Too small to swat. Too stupid to realize that repellant means to stay away. I believe gnats are solely responsible for for the particularly Southern dementia we used to think of as the result of rural inbreeding. In contrast to their sand gnat/no-see-um cousins, the mosquito is almost a noble beast, allowing you the half second between landing and biting for a fair fight. You can't splat a gnat. Gnats alight unaware until they secrete a poison that begins to burn. For lucky folks it just means welts and swelling. For the allergic type (moi) it's somewhere between a sick, miserable day on the couch and an ER run. In "A Man in Full" Thomas Wolfe points out the gnat line is north of the coastal plain. Gnat headquarters is South Georgia (although the Chamber of Commerce has wisely not invested in bumper stickers to that effect). Gnats like it just like we do, warm and comfortable with only a slight breeze. Too cold, too much heat, too much wind and they return to Gnat Headquarters planning the next siege. So it's long pants and long sleeves in tank top weather, treating the inside band of your mandatory hat with "Swamp Buddy" and slathering Skin So Soft on any exposed surface. I am not convinced they are particuarly repelled by the Avon product, but if you apply enough of it it's like landing them in an oil slick and you have a decent chance drowning them before they release their poison. You learn to speak sparesely and breathe shallow in their swarming presence. Kamikazes they are, being inhaled or ingested seems to be an honored end. I caught one in my eye this weekend and it was like having a small pit of floating fire under my eyelid. Having spent 13 years in Texas, I can say with painful authority that these guys make Fire Ants look like baby chickies. Fire ants get fired up when you mess with their territory, gnats come at you where you live. Or at least where I used to live. Our house is for sale (www.154rosemont.com). If you know anyone interested in a lovely home on historic St. Simons Island, the gnats here aren't bad at all. You know how we Yankees whine. Copyright 2004 Judi Griggs Read/Post Comments (0) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top