Buffalo Gal

Have you ever had the kind of dreams that leave you more exhausted than staying awake?
Maybe it's a writer's imagination or the faulty wiring of my neuro problems... or maybe the two are one in the same... but the harder I try to push back emotional pain the stronger it sneaks back to take the night.
When I lost my job abruptly a couple years ago each night was a macabre carnival of former co-workers. Within a couple of months they went on to haunt others and the dark circles under my eyes started disappearing.
Six months ago, a person I considered an absolute constant disappeared from my life. Each dream starts with the pure joy of seeing her again followed by a night of torture.
I can now recite the television listing grid between the hours of 1 a.m. and 5 a.m. (not a large accomplishment when you eliminate the infomercials) and have taken to buying airy chick lit books to read my way through the sleepless spaces. Mental junk food doesn't repel the pain, only provides a brief home free.
Slight acquaintances see me in the grocery store and say I need to get more sleep.
I don't explain that sleep is the problem. It's rest I need.

Copyright 2004 Judi Griggs

Buffalo Gal Judi Griggs I'm a communications professional, writer, cynic, mother, wife and royal pain. The order depends on the day. I returned to my hometown in November 2004 after a couple of decades of heat and hurricanes. I can polish pristine copy, but not here. This is my morning exercise -- 20-minute takes without a net or spellcheck. It's easier than sit ups for me. No guarantee what it will be for you. Clicking on the subscribe link will send you an email notice when each new entry is posted.
:: HOME :: The New Buffalo Gal :: Buffalo Rising :: The Buffalo Bloviator :: Buffalo NPR Station :: SABAH :: More Buffalo Weather Reality :: West Village :: Mary's Blog :: The Truth About Snow in Buffalo :: EMAIL ::
Previous Entry :: Next Entry Read/Post Comments (0) Share on Facebook		2004-07-20 7:41 AM Bad dreams, worse days Have you ever had the kind of dreams that leave you more exhausted than staying awake? Maybe it's a writer's imagination or the faulty wiring of my neuro problems... or maybe the two are one in the same... but the harder I try to push back emotional pain the stronger it sneaks back to take the night. When I lost my job abruptly a couple years ago each night was a macabre carnival of former co-workers. Within a couple of months they went on to haunt others and the dark circles under my eyes started disappearing. Six months ago, a person I considered an absolute constant disappeared from my life. Each dream starts with the pure joy of seeing her again followed by a night of torture. I can now recite the television listing grid between the hours of 1 a.m. and 5 a.m. (not a large accomplishment when you eliminate the infomercials) and have taken to buying airy chick lit books to read my way through the sleepless spaces. Mental junk food doesn't repel the pain, only provides a brief home free. Slight acquaintances see me in the grocery store and say I need to get more sleep. I don't explain that sleep is the problem. It's rest I need. Copyright 2004 Judi Griggs Read/Post Comments (0) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top